February 24, 2016

changes...

changes | yourwishcake.com
A couple weeks ago, my husband was unexpectedly laid off. And just like that, things changed. 

It's odd to me how the big things don't tend to send me into an emotional tailspin. I'm more stressed out by inconsequential things than the big, life-altering moments that usually send people into a frenzy. Some of it probably has to do with my age (I'm slowly outgrowing my drama queen tendencies) and having been through enough Very Big Things to realize it always turns out better than I assume it will.

One thing that has become abundantly clear after this specific situation is how we are not in control. No matter what my husband does, no matter what I do, no matter what…we are not in control. And instead of that being terrifying, it is very freeing. I know it will sound both ridiculous and naive to some, but Jay and I have this peace about the whole thing. I honestly can't imagine braving something like this without the faith that we both have. At this point, it's almost exciting, because we are able to what we can, but in the end, it's up to God. We know we are provided for, we know we've always somehow had more than enough, and we've seen time and time again how all these tiny moments (the good and the bad and the boring and the scary) have all worked together for something far greater than our own plans.

I think that once again, the one phrase that covers it quite perfectly is this: the peace that passes all understanding.

When Jay called me that specific morning, it was a normal Thursday, with our normal routine, and nothing was out of the ordinary at all. Then he called, I picked up the phone, and he said the words, "I just got laid off." But the voice on the line was so calm, and it echoed my own reaction. We were both shocked, but okay. We were okay.

Well, here we are now. It is what it is. What's next for us? Why does this feel almost…perfect? Exciting? The way it should be?

At this point, we are grateful for many things. We're grateful we have been very wise with finances throughout this first decade of marriage. We have enough to get us through to the next adventure (which I don't see taking longer than six months to begin, but I suppose you never know!). We are also grateful for the support, encouragement and wisdom from an incredible support system of friends and family. We are grateful this happened at a time when Jay wasn't at a job that he saw himself at through retirement. We are grateful that this is the time of year that tends to give us a boost in income (we're looking at you, tax returns).

And on a personal note, I'm grateful that something I've wanted for years and years now may actually become a reality. Jay is looking for jobs in the Northwest. Which is home. Which will always be home. And may actually become…well, where our real home would be. Who knows? I suppose the fact that it is a very real possibility is something that brings me so much peace after all these years of trying to tuck that desire away. Those of you who have been reading this ol' blog for years know what a big deal this is for me. In a way, I resigned myself to the thought that a big move would never happen. But now, at least it's a possibility. And I hold onto that rather tightly.

(I know many of our family members there are doing the same!)

So, we shall see. In the meantime, having Jay here at home has actually been pretty fantastic. The first week was rough—trying to figure out what our days would look like. I thrive when I have a regular routine, and it has definitely been a bit of an adjustment to have another body here all day long. (I had a bit of a meltdown a few days in, but I promise I've recovered since then.) It's actually been kind of great for our family, for the girls—for our marriage, even. It's only been a couple weeks, but we're doing okay and trying to take advantage of the time together this new situation affords us.

We definitely realize what a luxury it is, to not be wrecked by something like this. To see it as a good thing…an opportunity for something greater. For a change. And I can't wait to find out what that change happens to be.

12 comments :

  1. Hoping this leads to bigger and better things for you guys!

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  2. Congratulations? Haha! I hope that your big move back to the Northwest works out!

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  3. I love your attitude, Kerri. You're so right: we can make plans and hope and wish, but in the end we're not really in control. And I am glad that this unexpected lay-off (was he sent home that same day? Out of the blue? Wow!) may mean that you can make some changes to your lives that you didn't think possible a little while ago. Unexpected things can also have huge potentials for positive change! I am keeping my fingers crossed for you guys! Until then, enjoy the time that you have as a family (as much as that is possible when you don't know where you going to be in a few weeks/months).

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  4. Best attitude to have. Many years ago, my Dad was laid off from his fulltime job and it took him about a week to realize it was the best thing to ever happen to him. He had been doing so much freelance outside of work as a graphic designer that he was getting little time at home with his family and was constantly working. But he was afraid to pull the trigger on getting rid of the stable fulltime work and benefits. After he got over the shock, he realized the layoff was the gift to push him towards what he truly wanted and opened his own successful business. So sending lots of well wishes your way that this change in life plans pushes you and your family towards what you desire the most.

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  5. Sending good vibes your way, and I hope you can move closer to your family. Sounds like good things will come. Cheers! Enjoy the family time. :)

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  6. Kerri, this happened to us almost exactly a year ago. It was so jarring, but ultimately led to a much better job (and a much happier husband). I hope you get your wish of moving home out of this! Sending good thoughts your way.

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  7. This is a good time to look for work, I'm not sure what your husband does but there are lots of good gov jobs in the Seattle area right now.

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  8. Chiming in to say I'm not sure what Jay does for work but I'm in Eugene, OR and there's LOTS around right now. He doesn't speak Spanish, does he? There's an opening in my office even! I know how long you've wanted to move back to the PNW and I'm so glad you're looking at this as an opportunity to make it happen!

    My Charlie and Eisley are just a few weeks apart and I've commented just a few times, but I've been a long time reader...just in case you're wondering who the heck is this. :) We also just had our second baby this summer - we seem to be on the same baby track...I also struggled with secondary infertility. Anyway - wishing your family all the very best!!

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  9. I'm so glad that this hasn't been a big terrible thing for you guys but rather something positive. I hope you guys find a new direction (and even though I'd miss you in SoCal, I hope you find a way to move back up north with your families). xoxo

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  10. Hey girl - I think you're disposition in this situation is perfect. My husband also lost a job right before Christmas. It's been an emotional time, but we knew that a lot of positive can come out of the change. It took a little time, but he found a new job that he'll be starting soon, and we have no doubt it's going to be a change for the better compared to his previous job. It's still going to be a huge adjustment - I started a new job in January, and we are both now working in an office (meaning we also commute now) whereas we were both working from home. We'll have to find a new "normal" and routine, but I think it's going to be really good once we get used to it! I am normally an incredibly anxious person, and after my initial anxiety and emotions over the loss wore off, I felt a ton of peace that God was up to something good in our lives. I say all this hopefully as an encouragement. I know what it's like (albeit we don't have two kids) having just gone through this, and I know that having a positive outlook will make this season more fulfilling. There is a plan, and it will definitely all work out beautifully!

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  11. I just realized I've been reading your blog for nine years (!!) so I'm truly excited for your family that this could be such a positive change. I know how much you want this! Fingers crossed for ya girl!

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  12. I firmly believes that God places us just where we need to be and all things work out (even if it doesn't seem to us to "work out"). Praying for your continued peace and for your family to be able to go where you are meant to be.

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