I'm not going to lie: a little part of me thought we had lost the chance to move before the baby arrives next month. But the impossible has happened (yes, it's a total God-thing) and this month we say goodbye to the duplex we've lived in for almost 8 years, and hello to a new apartment a short drive away.
Earlier this month, Jay and I had a serious conversation about what we could afford, how much longer we were willing to look for a new place, and what our actual requirements were. It wasn't a pretty conversation and I may or may not have ugly cried for a full thirty minutes (thank you, pregnancy hormones) but we walked away at peace with the idea of staying in the duplex for a short while longer—should nothing come up that worked for both of us. It was odd reaching that place…having peace whether or not we were able to find something new. Fully trusting that God would provide when the time was right (and knowing we've always been taken care of before). Knowing that it was truly not meant to be if we didn't find something soon.
Honestly, we've been actively searching for a new place since soon after I found out I was pregnant late last year, and (although we found a few places that were fantastic, but fell through) it's slim pickings out here in Southern California. Well, at least it is when your budget is tight and you're trying to find a two-bedroom place in a non-scary area that has more than 750 square feet and school ratings of higher than 3-out-of-10.
I came across this new place a month ago, but it was not available for viewing until a couple weeks ago, at which point I was like, "GIVE ME A TIME AND I WILL BE THERE." So, they gave me a time, I was there, and I had that feeling the whole time I walked through the property.
I'm a feelings person, and I can't apologize for that. My husband will never understand it, because he's very logical and not at all feelings-y when it comes to most things. But for me, I knew I couldn't move into a new place without having that peace. Much of it may have to do with the fact that home is essentially what I do. It's where I spend a majority of my time, and it's my place of comfort as well as my place of "work" and nearly every other little thing. Home is where I am most during this season of life, and it's important to me that we live somewhere I can see each of us being safe, comfortable and content.
No matter what, I knew we'd be settling in one way or another, but I knew I had to feel like moving was the right thing before I agreed to signing the lease. This new place is not perfect, but it's so close to perfect (and I'm not unrealistic—I know there's no way we'd ever find something that had all our hopes and dreams wrapped up in a $1350/month lease!).
And close-to-perfect is something I can definitely handle for the next several years.
We signed the lease last week, and this weekend we start the move-in process. Can you believe it? I can hardly believe it. I've been feverishly packing up the duplex all week and it's been so odd to see blank walls and boxes tucked into the corners of each room…especially after all these years. I am sure I'll cry a significant amount of tears at some point before we leave, but mostly, preparing for the move hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be. (Yet another reason I know we made the right choice with the new rental.)
It actually feels good to box things up and dream of decorating our new space. Granted, I'm only 5 weeks from my due date, which is totally crazypants, and if this baby comes early I'll be all, "THE CURTAINS! I HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO HANG THE CURTAINS!" But, still. I find myself much more excited during this process and am finding it to be less sad than I anticipated. This duplex holds so much of my adult life—so many of the Big Things my husband and I have experienced over the past 8 years. I'm always going to love it and miss it a little bit.
Things will be rather quiet around here while we work on packing, getting settled in, and then anticipating the arrival of our next little gal. Aside from packing like a maniac during most of my free time, I'm also at that point of pregnancy where I'm absolutely exhausted all the live-long day. (God bless the bloggers who manage to post regularly during their entire pregnancy and postpartum journey.)
I want to say thank you to everyone who has kept us in their thoughts and prayers and we searched for a new place, and know that all of it made such a difference to us. The encouragement means so much, as well! I keep hearing new stories of women who moved when they were 9-months pregnant and those are the best stories. (I mean, seriously. Keep 'em coming.) I'm grateful we don't have a huge home to pack up and move, so I think it's totally possible for us to get into the new place and have it feel like home before the baby arrives.
But I'm not going to lie: this may be the one time I don't mind having a baby born a wee bit past the due date. (My rapidly swelling ankles may tell another story, though.)