April 21, 2015

who I am (at the moment)...

who I am (at the moment) | yourwishcake.com
I am…

…enjoying the belly-view when I take a peek at my toes these days. The journey to get to this point (although I know it was surely not as long as some) makes me continue to have feelings of almost disbelief. Is this real? Is this actually happening? Am I really this close to being a mama again?

…quite happy we have more family visiting this week (this time, from Jay's side!).

…wishing so much that either set of our parents (ideally, both!) lived close to us. One reason (among dozens) is how it would actually make a monthly date night possible for my husband and I. The idea of spending money on a date night and a babysitter isn't something we can muster these days, and knowing that either set of parents would be more than happy to have some extra Eisley-time makes me long to live closer. I've been thinking about this, because a while back I heard a speaker at my weekly mommy group talk about how she and her husband completed a weekly date night challenge over the course of a year and the whole time I was like, "Yeeeeeah, Jay and I have gone on, like, 2 dates in the past year. Don't talk to me." I was left feeling more guilty and pressured than inspired by that talk, but it was mostly because we can't even figure out the logistics of making a monthly date night happen—and I hate how I sometimes feel like the only woman in the world who is dealing with this. Maybe these thoughts deserve a post of their own and not just a lone bullet point. (Duly noted.)

…grateful our church finally has a Sunday School class for Eisley to attend every week. Our congregation is currently experiencing what seems to be the first baby boom in history (like, 4 babies within the span of a year) and if you attend a small Lutheran church as we do, you know what a huge deal this is. Cue the confetti and fireworks and ridiculously tiny baby socks!

…thinking a lot about what I want to do. Now, six months from now, two years from now, and beyond.

…always going to be that person who eats out of frustration. Last week, I had almost completed writing a long blog post, only to unintentionally delete the entire thing with one keystroke. I sat there for a few minutes, trying to figure out how to turn back time, then immediately called Eisley into the kitchen to join me for a handful of Doritos and to offer assistance in baking a batch of rage cookies. (They were of the chocolate chip variety. And they were delicious.)

…still in a decluttering and organizing mood. For some reason, it usually takes me a few individual sweeps through the bigger things (closets, clothes, and my crafting nook, for example) for me to fully purge and clear out what really needs to be gone. Baby steps!

…thinking a lot about my faith and grace and prayer—and what it all means for my life and how I live it.

Further reading: Who I was two years ago

11 comments :

  1. My parents live here (as well as my sister and her husband) and we also rarely have date night. We even have an on-call baby-sitter (although we can't always afford a baby-sitter). Sometimes I feel like asking family for free baby-sitting is a burden, but I know it's important. I hope you guys are able to figure something out so you can enjoy more "adult time" - especially with #2 on the way. :-)

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    1. Thanks for the encouragement, Hilary! Feels good to know I'm not alone. :) I think sometimes the internet fools me into thinking I'm some sort of pariah for not having a consistent date night with my husband during this season of life…

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  2. Our parents live in different parts of the country than we do. Asking for babysitting makes me anxious, but we have neighbourhood buddies who are in the same boat. So, for Brad's birthday, we went out and a neighbour couple had a playdate with Eric and their daughter. We will return the favour for them when they are looking to have a date night. Is there anyone around you who you could make this arrangement with? Or anyone at church who might be willing to watch sweet Eisley?

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    1. A few people also gave this advice, and it's something I just haven't put much thought into! I think it may be our saving grace, though. Although we don't have many friends-with-kids, I think we should be able to work something out. Thanks for the encouragement! <3

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  3. Why not move near family and just live like kings on whatever Jay can make there? I know there must be more to it than that, I’m just always secretly rooting for you guys to find an adorable house in Washington or something :)

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    1. Every day I wish it were that easy to make the move without knowing what sort of job Jay would have! He works in a fairly specific industry and has a fairly specific degree, so there are more opportunities here in CA. I am confident that he'd find something in Seattle (since it's a huge city) but making a huge jump like that would be a little scary. I'm up for living off savings for a little while, but he still want to wait out his current job to see what opportunities come along.

      But my WA dreams are still very much alive and kicking. :)

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  4. I mean I would totally babysit for free, but ya know. Other side of the country and everything.

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  5. I'm with Leanne! Find a friend who has a little family and offer to swap babysitting nights! Or start a babysitting night at church, since you're having a lovely little baby boom :) A couple moms or dads take a turn watching the little ones once a month while the other moms and dads get to have a quiet night to themselves? That sounds like it would work to me!

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  6. I was going to recommend the same as Leanne.

    I find I'm doing the same type of decluttering. I can only do small spaces before I begin to lose interest/stamina, but it's helping me declutter quite a bit.

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  7. The only way we are able to go on dates (ever) is through babysit-swapping with our friends. So one night, I'd go to their house after their kids are in bed and read my book (or binge on Netflix) while they go out... and maybe the next week, one of them would come to our house after our kids are in bed and do the same. It has been AWESOME... no guilt about staying out late since you're doing it for each other, and no doubling the cost of date night paying for a sitter. If you have anyone you feel comfortable enough to do this with, it works out great!

    ps. that bump!!!

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    1. A few other people gave this advice, and I think it may be exactly what we need! It's tricky because we don't have that many friends-with-kids, but there are at least a couple people I'm sure we could work this out with. I like the idea of doing it after bedtime, because then you're totally right—it almost feels like a treat to go somewhere and have time to read a book or watch TV guilt-free. And when it's your turn for a date night, you don't have to go to Taco Bell because you spent so much on babysitting… ;)

      Thanks for the encouragement, as always, sweet lady!

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