I'm not the kind of person who wakes up early to go running. I've never had the motivation to drag myself out of bed until my daughter is asking for cereal and juice sometime around 6:30 every morning. I've never chosen to sacrifice sleep to spend time alone in prayer, journaling and going through a devotional. I've never made a point to carve out at least a few minutes of quiet before I start a day of mothering.
June 6, 2014
But lately, I'm trying to be that person.
The thing about starting something new is that it's not going to feel normal or comfortable or even enjoyable. Before, at least. The after is always filled with thoughts like, "Why don't I do this all the time?" "Man, I feel like superwoman." "Waking up 45 minutes earlier isn't actually as painful as I've always made it out to be."
Granted, this is still a new thing. I'm still starting out, slowly forcing myself to find an early-morning routine. Much more out of necessity than actual enjoyment. But I'm hoping that at some point my heart (and body) will adjust.
The more I talk with other women (especially those in a later season of motherhood), the overwhelming consensus is that they each had to force themselves to become a morning person. They created the habit and stuck to it. Of course they wanted to sleep. Of course they deserved that extra hour of sweet, sweet slumber. Of course waking up before the sun wasn't their favorite part of the day. But what it did for their sense of preparedness for the day ahead…how they were able to have some time to themselves before the noise and mess and crumbs and diapers…how they were able to feel like they were put together before having to put together their little ones…that, they say, is what always makes it worth it.
I always hoped I'd have a child who slept in. 7:30 would feel magical at this point, to be honest. When Eisley sleeps until even 7 it's like, "WAIT. Is she breathing? Should I check her pulse and respiration?" She's always been an early riser, so it makes it difficult to get up even earlier than she does. (And then there are the days she feels the need to wake up at 5:30, at which point I'm not even going to try to wake up before her…I'm no hero.)
Still, this is my hope: To wake up just before 6AM as many days during the week as possible. Run three times each week. Complete morning devotions and prayer. Shower and do as much as I can to get ready for the day before Eisley wakes up.
I need to do this for myself. The rest of our days and weeks feel very consistent and comfortable…we've fallen into a nice little routine, and I feel ready to challenge myself a bit more. And mornings may be the perfect challenge. Sacrifice, even. (Especially for someone like me who cherishes sleep like no other.)
So, we'll see how it goes. One morning at a time. (Repeat, repeat, repeat…)