Today, Jay and I celebrate eight years of marriage. As is usually the case, I feel that we've been together forever, yet the years have passed so quickly it's hard to even imagine that almost a decade has gone by.
I think a lot about that twenty-one year old girl who walked down the aisle that day. By many modern standards, I was jumping into the whole thing way too soon. We had only been officially together for a few months before Jay was on his knee, asking me to marry him—and, to be honest, I knew he was the one only a few weeks into dating. We were engaged for just over a year, and we didn't live with each other until the day we were officially a mister and missus. We were in our early-twenties…both of us holding many high expectations and hopes for what was to come.
Still, we walked down the aisle that morning, committed our lives to one another, spent the afternoon celebrating with friends and family, and sped off towards the Anaheim Ramada in Jay's rickety old Mazda.
And the rest, as they say, is history.
I'm grateful that we're at a peaceful place right now, when it comes to our marriage and relationship. But that's not to say that we're one of those couples who seem to have it all together. I mean, who really can? Marriage is work, and it is compromise, and it is sometimes loving someone without feeling like you're in love. But it is also one of the most rewarding things you will ever experience in your life.
We've changed in so many ways since our wedding day. We've grown up in so many ways. But I'm grateful we've somehow managed to hang on to each other and grow together, too. We are two imperfect people, loving each other as well as we possibly can…which means we fail a lot, and our love story is in no way similar to the Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks romance I had always wished for when I was younger.
But you know what? This is real. And it's ours. And we're lucky to have it.
It's messy, it's silly, it's not always enviable or pretty or poetic. There are seasons of good and there are seasons when it's really hard to see any good at all…but there are also seasons of oh-my-gosh, you really are the best person in the entire world.
Jay is such a good guy. He is so good for me. And I'm lucky to have him as my husband.
"A successful marriage requires
falling in love many times,
always with the same person."