July 7, 2013

on who I am (at the moment)...

the messy bun of summer
I am…

…wishing I wasn't so bad at summer. I remember a time I couldn't wait for hot weather, beach days, tank tops and shorts, tan legs. Now, all I want in life is for it to be October. I miss wearing cardigans, beverages with a hint of cinnamon, scarves, and not sleeping in a pool of my own sweat. I'm just not a summer girl anymore—nor do I own even one pair of shorts. In addition, I'm sporting what I like to refer to as the "mom tan": freckled shoulders, a flip-flop tan on my feet, and a stomach that is basically transparent. Oh, life.

…currently visiting my homeland (Washington State) for a couple weeks—with Eisley, without Jay. Quite the adventure, my friends.

…thinking a lot about friends I lost touch with over the years. It's hard to believe it's been almost a decade since I moved to California, and it makes me wonder about people I used to be so close to, but have completely lost touch with throughout the past decade.

…not very fancy, not really that fashionable, not willing to put effort into doing my hair more than a few times a week at this point in time.

…back on Facebook—but only to take part in a bible study. I'm keeping my page like a ghost town (AKA: friendless) in order to not get sucked back into the abyss. I still hate Facebook. Of course, it is already recommending me to people and sending me almost daily emails, "Do you know this person? How about this person? START ADDING FRIENDS ALREADY, YA FREAK." Suffice to say, if you try to "friend" me and I don't add you back, I'm not being a jerk. I promise. Facebook is just…not my jam.

…ready for Christmas movies.

…nearing my twenty-ninth birthday, and am oddly excited to be so close to thirty. Something about thirty has always appealed to me. I feel ready for it. I think it will look good on me.

…dealing with some fairly intense baby fever. Jay and I have talked a bit about baby number two, and we do hope we're able to grow our family by one (this is where God decides to be funny and give me triplets next time around) sometime within the next year. But, we'll see! It's tough that there is so much to think about in this day and age. Especially when we live in an expensive part of the country and in such a small place—and live on one income. But, man. Babies. They call to me. And something in my heart of hearts tells me that we could make it work. I worry about absolutely everything else, but this I don't worry about, strangely enough.

…in one of my crazy moods where all I want to do is go through everything we own and throw away half of it, and reorganize the half that remains.

…loving this post on Criticism vs. Cruelty from Momastery. Read it, read it, read it. "If you're not kind on the internet, then you're not kind."


  1. I love this! I am also not good at summer, but I am very proud of myself thus far this year. We moved to Pasadena two years ago after seven years in the Bay area, and, even though I am from Memphis, I just could not handle the dry heat! So far I've been tromping around town with a shirt sleeve full of ice cubes draped around my neck. Whatever works! So excited to hear about possible baby number two! And love love love that you are not worried about it at all. I think there is a special part of our brains that can just let us know when things are right:)

  2. I'm the same way with summer. I'm so excited for it and then I realize that it means I'm hot and miserable for three months and can't wait for fall & winter.

  3. I am not loving summer here either. I much prefer a nice spring / autumn when it's warm enough for a cardie but not enough to get a sweat on (yuk!)
    I'm 34, I have to say I have enjoyed my 30's so far much more than my 20's. I feel much more contented.
    Love your blog (as always) xx

  4. I fourth the summer-no-likey sentiment. And I live where there is COLD. Anyway, since you are hiding out in your little corner of FB, make sure you like swagbucks on there! I just joined and already get free points just because they posted a code on their FB. What the what.

  5. You're gorgeous, and if you're loving life and having fun, who cares if you're putting anything into a beauty routine? I rarely worry about such stuff, and I am happier for 'tis, I think! I love make-up, cute clothing, etc. but it's not my full on passion. You're a natural beauty, too!

    One of my closest friends is pregnant, so yep... baby fever.

    I love Summer for personal holidays, and BBQs, refreshing beers and such. However, Autumn is still my favorite for every other reason, especially Halloween and Samhain!

    Have a beautiful week, friend!

  6. Spoiler alert -- there will be baby pictures on my blog in less than a month!! Just so you can be on guard. =)

  7. Thanks for your realness! I know all about the transparent skin + splotches of red here and there where I missed the sunblock or ventured out on a cloudy day with 5 minutes of sunshine. I'm a peppermint candy in the summer. It's no wonder every time I visited California, people asked me if I'm Canadian. Nope, I say with my Michigan accent, but close enough. :)

    Enjoy your visit with your family! Exciting about growing the family!

  8. This year has been the first summer that I don't like summer! Usually I'm sitting by the beach! Now working full-time in an office on my summer vacation from college & won't dare to put on a bathing suit. So ready for Christmas movies! Baby fever is going around a lot lately! Must be contagious! Have fun visiting with family, I'm sure you two are missing the hubby, but still try to have fun! :)

  9. I'm only 27 but I've been looking forward to 30 for years. I, too, always say 30 will look good on me. I'm certain it will.

  10. Move to Oklahoma, its much cheaper, lots of great jobs, you can have that second baby and we can become livelong BFFs... wishful thinking.
    I love the description of the "mom tan" - totally rockin that myself.
    I also loved turning 30. I feel like I'm finally getting comfortable with myself in my 30s. 'bout time. :)
    Enjoy you time with your family.

  11. hurray for home time! hope you two are having a wonderful time with family. and i just turned 29 but somehow keep thinking i'm already 30, so basically i'm quite ready for it too, ha.

  12. I don't like summer much either! Well, it is my birthday in the summer (just my bday actually!), but besides that, I don't care for it that much. It's really hot, really humid, I have to worry about getting a tan or a sunburn, and if I'm not on vacation, then it's not as fun. And I miss cardigans too! But luckily summer is only two months, so I can deal with that. It's not that bad, it's just not my favorite time of the year.
    It's almost your birthday day too? I'm glad you're feeling good about being closer to 30 :)
    Baby fever! I was watching a reality show last night, where a Mom wants another child too. I hope that happens for you soon, if that's what you want :)
    Facebook is kind of silly sometimes. I have been going on it a little more than usual, just for family updates. I only have my family and close friends on Facebook anyway, so I try and keep it minimal. Glad Facebook hasn't completely sucked you in yet!

  13. This! All of this speaks to me. Just one of the many reasons I love this blogging community. I, too, feel like I've lost touch with a lot of people, many who I was once so close with. It makes me sad, and nostalgic for times where there was more TIME, where we were more carefree, less self-involved. Sigh. As you say, life.

    Also, NOT a summer girl over here, either. All I do is sweat and get lazy about my hair. No fun, no thanks.

  14. We have four boys in less than 1000 square feet! You can totally make it work!

  15. A) We will be in your hometown later this month for 11 days!! Or should I say... my hubby's hometown!
    B) I have been humming Christmas songs for like three weeks. I'm so ready for October-December!
    C) I may be in my hometown, now your neck of the woods, later this year... and maybe we should consider coffee. Nuff said. <3


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