November 12, 2012

on hurtful words and why I blog...

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I had another post ready for today (I'm actually getting better at scheduling posts, which is quite a feat these days!) but something happened last night that made me want to write about something else.

I stayed up late and was searching for a specific post I wrote a few years ago (it was a post I wanted to revisit and compare to how things are nowadays), and a Google search directed me to an online forum that is pretty much all about different blogs that people hate. People post about bloggers and then everyone joins in with specific things they dislike about the blog or the blogger. Very harsh (often petty) things, which make you wonder who spends their time spreading such negativity. I'd been to this forum before, because a while ago they'd posted something hurtful about a blogger who I'd become friends with.

The fact that these websites even exist make me lose just a little bit of faith in humanity, for the record. But, anyway.

Someone had posted about how they liked my blog, and then there were several very harsh, very hurtful, very unfair things said about me. The original post was from earlier this year and I hate (hate, hate) that I even happened to find it. I honestly just wish I could take it all back and go to bed early like an old woman and never see these awful things.

I know the rule is that you should brush it off, that you shouldn't let these things get under your skin or hold any weight. I know that these people don't know me, and obviously aren't happy themselves if they choose to spend their time being so awful and hurtful and generally negative human beings. I know that this blog is mine and mine alone—and that I shouldn't have to defend myself or explain myself or anything of that nature. I know these things.

But you know what? I don't have a thick skin. These things hurt. Things that shouldn't even hurt sometimes do, let alone blatant insults thrown in my face (or, as it turns out, behind my back). When I read those words last night, they knocked the wind out of me. My heart raced and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I care what people think about me…even if I shouldn't care about what that specific handful of people think about me. It was less about thinking their insults were rational or legitimate as it was feeling so grossly misunderstood and misrepresented by these people.

I'm a people pleaser. I'm nice. I try to be as genuine as I can here on my blog because—as I've mentioned before—I've written about my life (in journals or on personal blogs) for nearly twenty years, only a handful of which have been shared with all of you. I didn't start a blog for people to look at me and say, "Oh, what a shiny, perfect life." I blog to remember these tiny pieces of my life, to calm myself, to share creativity, to connect with people.

Which brings me to a few things I'd like to address, which shouldn't really need to be addressed, but I'm going to anyway. After last night, and how hurt I was, I just need to get it out of my system, to be completely honest. (And perhaps none of these people are even reading my blog after so long—especially considering I bother them so much.) So, here I am, writing this post while simultaneously watching Felicity reruns in the hopes that one of the two will cleanse my emotional palate.

To put it simply (and as many bloggers have written before) what you see here is only a tiny fraction of my life. If you think my world is small, and you're basing that exclusively on my blog, then I understand how you could think that. I don't blog about everything. Rarely the big things. Hardly even the small things, lately. I've hardly blogged at all in the past year because it's been one of the most challenging years of my life—one that I didn't necessarily feel like sharing with the online world. Truth be told, if something isn't mine to share, I will not be sharing it here. Which is the way it should be, really.

I don't write about everything I experience, everything that fills my weekends or the errands I run throughout the week. I don't write about much of what goes on specifically because I never want to be someone who experiences something only to feel the need to immediately share it with the world. My moments and experiences are sacred to me—something I've learned in the past couple years, which perhaps counts for the shift in the way I write and what I write about. (Although, I must say, I've always been a more introspective writer, as opposed to someone that writes about their day-to-day experiences.)

When it comes down to it, I'm not here for anyone's entertainment. I write for myself, I share what I want, and if I don't feel like blogging, then I don't. I'm content with the place I've reached when it comes to my little corner of the internet. But that doesn't mean that hurtful words don't, well, hurt. Because they do. And it's just disheartening to be reminded of how many unapologetically cruel people are out there in the world.

You simply don't have any idea what is going on in someone's life, whether or not they choose to share some of their story on a blog.

To the people who never fail to encourage me, to understand me, and to show me the beautiful side of the internet: Thank you. You make blogs and Twitter and my email inbox and all the rest of the internet a nice place to be. So, thank you.

Further reading: Introversion and the Internet

84 comments :

  1. I don't comment often (ever?), but I read all your posts. You're insightful, beautiful, honest. Don't let pettiness bring you down. <3

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    1. Thank you so much for your encouragement! It means so much. You have no idea.

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  2. I don't comment here as much as I should, but I think you are very brave for putting yourself out here and honestly, those trolls don't deserve the time.

    From your blogger and twitter, I see a beautiful 20-something mother who is insanely talented in crafting and photography. I love reading about the adventures of Eisley!

    I am getting so fed up with that damn website and the fact that these people have nothing better to do. Obviously people are not going to always love every blog they read, but I don't understand the idea behind going to a forum and nitpicking them. If I ever find myself bored or annoyed by a blogger, I unsubscribe. It's that simple.

    Sorry for getting off on that rant, but I've seen too many bloggers recently deterred by that website and it makes me sad.

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    1. I am the same exact way—if I am bothered by someone (and it definitely happens), then I simply unsubscribe or unfollow. Easy peasy! It's one thing to mention annoyances to your best friend over a glass of wine, and it's another to rant and rave online with a bunch of other negative people (and in a place the person you're complaining about can accidentally come across it with a simple Google search, nonetheless!). I understand free speech, but websites like that take advantage of that right. It's pretty sad.

      I appreciate you leaving me such encouraging feedback, Becca! Your kind words really brightened my day (as cheesy as it sounds, it's true). :)

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  3. Chin up, my dear. If you ask me, I think the very fact that these people in this forum were saying bad things about you, it means that you have something so special that it warranted jealousy. That's meant to be a justification by any means - just a reminder that you have a way of making people connect with you through your writing and I'm sure that's something that some small-minded people wish they could achieve. (And they actually might if they weren't so busy trying to take other people down.) Your blog is the single reason that I finally decided to start my blog, so if need be, feel free to meditate on that positivity (in addition to Felicity of course.) Any person could see that you are a kind and humble young woman. I know the feeling you were talking about where you KNOW something shouldn't bother you but it does, so I'm just hoping that these words of encouragement serve as a stepping stone away from hurtfulness. As always, thanks for sharing!

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    1. *not meant to be a justification... this is what happens when I try to type quickly on a Monday morning, my brain can't keep up!

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    2. I truly appreciate your insight (as always!), Caroline. One of the first things Jay told me when I let him know all this was going on, was something about how I must really "be something" if my blog is worthy of a thread on that website. It gave me a different way of looking at the situation, which helped a lot. I should be strangely flattered, I guess. Which is bizarre.

      Thank you for being such a soul sister. I'm so grateful this blog world helped us become friends. :)

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  4. Sending love and hugs to you. I've been an avid reader of your blog for some time now, and the ways in which you wrote this with grace and poise reaffirms all of the reasons I have found comfort in your words and warmth in your heart.
    With love,
    Amanda

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  5. "I blog to remember these tiny pieces of my life, to calm myself, to share creativity, to connect with people."

    Yes. That. Ditto. <3

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  6. Just saw all of this madness on twitter this morning and was tearing up. You are, honestly, one of the most genuine, sweet, funny, and wonderful people I've been lucky enough to meet on the internet and someone whose blog I respect so much for what you choose to share and *not* share on here. These people are ridiculous and small, and I hope you will get enough "You're awesome!" posts to erase some of the terrible feelings those people can bring up. Sending you internet hugs from the east!

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    Replies
    1. I will be forever grateful that this blog created so many wonderful friendships for me. I periodically want to go back in time and relive our random shenanigans in Vegas—back when things were simpler and life was less intense and dramatic.

      All we had to worry about was quoting SNL skits in the greatest bathroom in the world. "RICK RICK RICK!"

      Thank you for your encouragement and friendship, Amanda. :)

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  7. I don't believe I have ever commented, but I have been an avid reader of your blog for quite sometime now. I find your blog inspiring, honest, and genuine. :-) Thank you for sharing your life, creativity, and beautiful family with me. As a new mother myself, you are an inspiration.

    I've learned that succumbing to comparisons always leads to worry and often leads to a false definition of who I am as a mother. I don't know what was said, or what online source these hurtful comments were made, but Eleanor's quote sums up the truth of who these people are-small and they are giving a false representation of who you TRULY are.

    Thank you again for sharing who you are--it's why I continue to read your beautiful blog:)

    Many blessings to you and yours,

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  8. I'm amazed that people would be so negative. I love that your blog is a random assortment of inner musings, craft projects and small tidbits from your life. And, I've never once thought that you were sharing the entirety of your life here! The small pleasures that you do share remind me to take a minute and be thankful for where I am and see the small things that I'd like to remember years from now. Thank you for blogging and making "my" internet better.

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  9. People think because we "put it all out there" we deserve the criticism, judgement, constant scrutiny. Then they feel like they have the right to tell us just what they think but do so anonymously. It takes A LOT to put our thoughts, feelings, LIVES out there the way they do and then someone thinks they are a big bad negative person who is going to put us in our place by using a no-reply email. That does not take guts. Anyone can sit behind a screen and say how awful, ugly, dumb, etc someone is but it takes a brave person to put it out there with a name/face to go along with it. I love your blog and while I don't comment often {my bad} I do enjoy riding tidbits of your life. Keep your chin up!

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  10. There is a lot of hate on the internet, but I think that the good outweighs it. We are fortunate enough to have a blog community that is mostly about lifting each other up and sharing ideas/love. Thankfully, the rare forum of poopheads is just that... rare. Hopefully, you won't have anymore days like yesterday.

    Stay strong lady. You are loved.

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  11. I don't normally comment but after reading this I really wanted to let you know you have another fan-lurker-reader right here! Even though our lives are probably very different (I live in Europe, no kids -yet-, no blog -yet-, and I'm pretty sure we have different political and religious views, not that that is of any importance!), I think we also have a lot in common because I love reading your thoughts and looking at all the pretty things you make. Also I'm surprised that they said your world seems small, since you are very often reflecting on deeper problems and thoughts and feelings that speak to a lot of people.
    I'm amazed that that forum even exists: hadn't heard of it before and will to my very best to forget about it now. As should you! Don't let the awful negative folks get you down and be who you are, sister!

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  12. Unknown at 8.22 = Annelies, didn't want to leave that anonymously :)

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  13. I actually stumbled across this same forum on Thursday while looking for something else. I couldn't believe it. It makes me so sad that people would choose to waste their energy putting so much negativity in the world. I think that when we're growing up, we imagine this sort of bullying will go away, but it doesn't. Why people feel the need to tear others down is something I won't ever understand.

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  14. I really love your blog, and one of the reasons is that is so clearly something you love. It is refreshing to read your words and insights. Please don't let a few hateful comments destroy what you have created here or diminish it in any way.

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  15. I've personally experienced the bullying that comes from that particular website, and it. hurts. We may put ourselves out there, but there is no reason for other people to call us stupid or boring or anything else negative. I have to agree with those comments before us: we're the brave ones. They're cowards. They hide behind their computers, spouting off their own insecurities to the world. It's honestly sad to me HOW much they know about the lives of bloggers, and how strong their opinions are. It's kind of creepy too. They justify it as "criticism" but it's not, and there is no excuse.

    Anyway, know that I think you're awesome, all of your readers think you're awesome, and we outnumber those hurtful people a thousand to one, I promise ;)

    xoxo,
    Joelle

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  16. I have so much to say, but the mere fact that ANYONE, much less someone who doesn't know you, could find any remotely negative thing to say about you BLOWS ME AWAY and is leaving just-shy-of-speechless. I bite my thumb at all of them. And I offer endless hugs to you.

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  17. Ugh it blows my mind that people waste their time saying bad things about bloggers! I had someone trash talk some pictures that were shared AT, and no matter how many nice comments I got about them, it was the negative ones that stayed with me. I hate that. After reading your blog for a while I know you are grounded in the only truth that deflects the negativity. When things like this happen to me I constantly read and re-read the verse "am I now trying to please God or man?" and it helps cut my pride off at the knees and bring me back to the One person who's opinion matters. And that's ALL that matters. You are an encouragement and an inspiration to so many. You are loved and adored. Don't let what you saw on a screen make its way to your heart.

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  18. Wow. I hurt for you, Kerri, because I don't think you give people much reason to criticize your blog.... and here I am not even aware that an awful "haters"-forum like that could even exist.
    I know it's not easy to brush it off. I couldn't do that either. I feel in many ways we're the same and I am a people pleaser, too. I don't quite understand how people can misinterpret when all I do is try to be nice.
    All I can say is that I think you are sweet, kind and genuine and that these people must be extremely jealous and small-minded people to make themselves feel better by talking about people (that don't even know!) behind their backs.

    Much love <3

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  19. I love your blog and the you that I "know" from what you share with us. Try not to let the haters get under you skin. I know that is easier said than done. They are the lesser people and you owe nothing to them. Just keep being you and the people that matter will keep loving you.

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  20. Upon googling you, I came up with the following positive images.

    http://www.loveandace.com/2012/09/designer-dialogue-your-wishcake.html

    An interview with you!

    http://theblogdesignernetwork.com/2010/10/beautiful-blog-designs-feature-your-wishcake/

    Compliment to your layout.

    http://blog.iheartmyshoes.com/2009/10/shop-girl-shares-your-wishcake-and-there-i-fixed-it.html

    Compliment to your writing and genuine presence.

    http://pommes-frites.blogspot.com/2010/01/etsy-finds-yourwishcakes-sweet-card.html

    Compliment to your Etsy shop.

    In conclusion, your positive vibes are way more prevalent in the blogosphere then those negative nancys. So there.

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  21. I tweeted you when you discovered that awful post and I'll repeat what I said then. I love your blog, it makes me happy and I love seeing one of your posts pop up in my reader. Please don't let a handful of people make you doubt yourself or the joy you have in your life. I for one will always come back and feel privileged to share the things you do choose to share.
    Sending you much love and all manner of rainbows, sunshine and happy smiley things. xx

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  22. People are cruel.

    I love your blog, your twitter and having kids the same age, just makes it more sweet.

    Keep your head up.

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  23. What makes me so mad is that NO ONE is fully themselves online. I'm sorry that people think that there is something bad about you but you are seriously a ray of sunshine on my cloudy days. Never have I thought differently in anything you have ever written.

    Please don't let those asshats discourage you. And yes, asshats was most definitely needed to describe ANYONE who would ever think ill of you. You are fabulous...don't let them get you down. xoxo

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  24. Said it before, will say it a billion times more: I love your blog, the layout and the fact that you only write what you truly want to share!
    Keep up the fabulous work, keep on writing what you want to tell the world - everybody will be happy to read it. And the few people who don´t! They just don´t exist! :)

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  25. Love you, love your blog! Way more of us love you than those trolls who just want to hate on others because they feel bad about themselves. (Also, I LOVE Mae. LOVE.)

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  26. I've been reading your blog for a while, and rarely comment (I'll work on that). I am so sorry that there are people that petty and sad out there. You have a beautiful blog, and there are LOTS of us who love reading what you have to say. Keep up the amazing job!

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  27. I know you didn't write this post just to get compliments (I totally understand the need to let off steam and get it out there) but I have to say that I'm just at a loss as to how they could write such things. Anyone with a fundamental understanding of blogging should know that it's such a small portion of life that gets posted. You're one of my favorites and I admire you and your blog in countless ways. Love you!

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  28. Blogs like yours are what got me hooked into blogging and decided to have my own little space of the interwebs too. I think it's important to have our own space and who the heck cares that the other people say. We write because we want to express something and build a community of support and that's all that matters, haters be damned!

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  29. I will never understand these people. People who devote hours and hours of their own time to bring other people down. It's hurtful, it's hateful, it's judgmental. What bothers me the most is the fact that this is YOUR blog, not theirs. They can just...STOP READING.

    I'm so sorry you're going through this. You are a bright, beautiful light in this sometimes awful world. Please don't forget that. {{{HUGE HUGS}}}

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  30. I adore your blog, how you write, and what you write about. And really, so what if someone's life actually IS small? So what? What's that to them? Maybe that makes them happy or maybe they have aspirations for the future. UGH. I just can't stand those hate sites and I do not understand why anyone would want to spend that much energy on negativity. What a terribly miserable bunch of people they have to be. I love your blog and I'm glad you wrote this and directly addressed it.

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  31. First off, I looooove the label"What the frick". This post was very intriguing. I have not discovered a site of the sort you discussed within this post BUT I have had several anonymous comments on my blog which was crude, crass, and disrespectful. I have learned, over the years, to NEVER allow those things to bother me. I am new to your blog and from what I see it is a great site. I encourage you to keep on writing to your heart's content. Although some people have nothing better to do than belittle others... there are some of us who enjoy taking a peek into the lives of those around us WITHOUT judgement.

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  32. I love your blog. Never annoying in the slightest. Did I spell that right? sheesh. Anyway- Dont let the haters get you down. We love you- Kimmy and Lillianna

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  33. I love your blog, Kerri. It was one of the first blogs I found from 20sb, and I think you have a wonderful voice- very sincere and sweet and articulate. Your life is very different from mine, too- I'm completely single with no kids and live in Boston- but I still find you fun and easy to relate to.

    I can tell you not to let some mean people on the internet get you down, but I get upset by stuff like that, too- I'd be really hurt, too. But I hope it helps to know that there are way more people who enjoy what you write and think you're an awesome person. And blogging is something you should only do for yourself. Keep at it.

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  34. Xo to you lovely. I know it's easy for me to say that you have to just say "EFF THEM" to jerks out there. But I know I have the thinnest skin when it comes to people judging me. I think it's why I don't have as much of an online presence anymore with my blogging. Too scared.

    I'm never annoyed by your blog. I love the happy that you portray! :D

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  35. For people who are genuine and honest it's always a shock when other people aren't the same way. It's really disheartening. I know I've felt that way many times. I hope you are feeling better a day later :) I love seeing little glimpses of your world :)

    ~Anna

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  36. You are simply amazing!!! So sorry that they wrote those hurtful things. I absolutely love your blog & your "little corner of the internet"!! Keep it up!

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  37. I was shocked to hear that people were saying mean things about you! I love reading your blog, and OF COURSE it's only a part of your life and not its entirety. What are these people thinking? And I'm right there with you - I don't have a thick skin when it comes to this stuff either, and honestly, we shouldn't have to. Maybe the people who are being bullies (and that's what they're doing) need to learn a little human kindness. You shouldn't have to be tougher - they should just stop it! I hope all of the kind words here in the comments made you feel better today!

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  38. I have been on that site you mentioned ("recommended" to me by another blogger) and I always leave that "blog" or whatever it is feeling so sickened and disheartened. And I am literally SHOCKED that people would have something awful to say about YOU. Why? What? How? You are a genuine blogger and one of my must-reads. Nobody on any blog shares everything that is happening to them and you've never hidden the fact that things have been tough this past year. I've never thought to myself, "Man, Kerri's blog is so sunshine and cupcakes and rainbows. How about those of us who have REAL PROBLEMS?!" because while your blog IS about positivity and fills me with joy whenever I see a post from you -- it's also very real and truthful.

    I'm just so upset about this and feel like it is so unfair to you. You are awesome and amazing and I just love reading your blog. You may have a handful of haters, but you have an entire tribe of people ready to defend you. <3

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  39. I can't understand people.
    I have had someone "stalking" my blog for a very long time and it came to the point where I was anxious to blog. Anxious to write anything at all because they always had something horrible to say. I love your blog.
    And you're an amazing person!! Keep your chin up. There are ALWAYS going to be jerks who like to rain on your parade. My motto - what goes around comes around.

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  40. That whole site is a mess and just, like I said last night you are an absolute gem. Nobody puts their entire life on their blog, we all omit things and no one should be judged for that. In any case, heart you oh so big!

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  41. K, I've been following your blog for a bit over 3 years now. In fact, it's the only blog that I follow. This ounds creepy, but in a way I even feel like we are friends. I love your blog, I feel so identified with you. Sometimes I notice that you're reading the same book as me, or that you wish you had the exact same Anthropologie bowls that I have... I spent the first trimester of my pregnancy watching all four seasons of Felicity! Anyway... just wanted to tell you that your blog is beautiful and I think you are a beautiful person. Not to mention you have an amazing family! Haters gonna hate, don't dwell too much on them.

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  42. I wish that I could hug you. I think it's so silly that anyone should have to blog with the disclaimer that their life isn't 100% reflected on their website... that is impossible and unrealistic. I am thankful for everything you do share and the honesty with which you do it. I love how you write about your challenges as well as the things that uplift you. I love your blogging voice and how sweet you are, and I'll read your blog forever! xo

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  43. Hi Kerry!

    I think you are incredibly talented and have been following your blog from the beginning. I am also a big fan of your Etsy shop and particularly the Eisley necklace!

    People are cruel and some people never outgrow the bullying phase. The internet is such a unique place now because it gives people a sleazy way to 'voice their opinions' while not being fully accountable for the consequences. I think your post captures it perfectly, as much as we should just 'brush things off', we are all human and words hurt.

    Even your post itself handles this ugly situation in such a classy and respectful way! You go girl :)

    And remember, living well is the best revenge ;)

    xoxo

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  44. I'm sorry about the hurtful comments. Please remember that whatever they said about you is more a reflection of them than of you. Don't let the bastards get you down :)

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  45. I don't comment often but this post spoke to my heart. i am so sick of the hate in the blog world and i love how eloquently you addressed it. you are such an amazing person with a beautiful heart. please don't forget that. i love you. (in a completely non-creepy way, i promise)

    can we please hang out so i can give you a big hug soon? :)

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  46. Ugh! I feel terrible that you felt the need to write this blog. Not because it was a bad post (it wasn't), or because your feelings are not applicable (they totally are) but because you felt the need to justify to the mysterious negative posters of the internet. You don't have to explain anything to anyone. Of course you show only a segment of your life! Of course you don't choose to gossip and share news that is not yours to share. (I happen to read this blog because of that attitude! It's so positive and loving).

    Truth is, dear one, Jesus told us we'd face persecution. Sure, this isn't on the same scale as we normally recognise persecution, but the feelings of unjustice are the same. Take heart and be encouraged. You've joined the ranking of many many other Christians who are mocked, scoffed and persecuted because of their beliefs, the way they live their lives, and their joy. Welcome to the team sister!

    I did pop you a tweet yesterday, but it was probably weird and out of the blue ( I hate when I forget to be kind and introduce myself!) so just know you don't have a South African stalker- just a normal everyday blog-reader :)

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  47. eh, this makes me sick. and mad. and sick again.
    who would have any harsh things to say about you?
    really?
    and behind your back?
    !@(*^%#(*&$#$#(*&
    mad face.
    i don't think you could hurt a fly.
    and if you did, you would surely give it a proper funeral -_-
    not funny.
    but, kinda funny? ;)
    people need a LIFE. a life, i tell you.
    sorry you were hurt. if it counts for anything, i think you're really swell. xo!

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  48. When I saw your tweet about this (and the link) I had to check it out to see what these people were saying about you. And I was so shocked! I couldn't get over the vitriol that spilled out and I couldn't believe they could be so harsh. I can understand how that must have made you feel and I just want to say that even though there are those trolls out there, know that there are twice the amount of people that adore you and like your blog. I don't get too personal on my blog and I only put a portion of what is going in my life because I don't necessarily want to share everything. Keep on blogging about what you want and those small minded people can just live in their world of enjoy and jealously and never be happy for people. xx

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  49. Haters gonna hate. Really. If anything this should show you that you've made it in the blogger world. There will always be an insignificant population of people who prey on the moment that something becomes big, popular, well-known, cool, main-stream, whatever. We love you here, but I think that's evident from the outpouring of support :) Keep on keepin on!

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  50. Some people can be so petty and mean and they are totally undeserving of your attention! Your blog is one of my long time favourites...you are honest, you make me laugh and I hope you don't let them get you down. Much love x

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  51. I'm pretty bummed to find our people were talking badly of your blog. It is a lovely place, and you simply don't deserve it. Hugs!

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  52. Your blog is honest, endearing, pretty and so unique. I love it and it's one of the few blogs (of people that I don't know) that I still read, for that reason.

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  53. Ugh, GOMI is horrific! From only a few days of reading, you seem like such a dear, kind person. Ignore them and keep on doing what makes you happy (for as long as it makes you happy!).

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  54. There is absolutely no need to say something hurtful about someone. Especially someone you don't really know. This, as most negative comments usually are, steams from jealously. Brush it off, your blog is refreshing and light, and I have nothing but wonderful things to say about it! (from someone who has been reading this blog for almost three years) :)

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  55. Wait, there exists a place where people can go talk trash about blogs and bloggers they don't like? I'm with you -- this makes me lose a little bit of faith in people. What a waste of time. Every once in awhile, I have to talk myself through something like this, not necessarily as a result of reading something hurtful, but just because I sometimes feel guilty for not sharing everything. Like you, this has been one of the most challenging years of my life and I haven't blogged about a single part of that because it's more than just my story, it's not sorted out yet (I'm still going through it), and frankly, it's just not the world's business right now. But there's this weird feeling that sits with me sometimes, like I'm not being honest or genuine or that people might think one way or another of me based on what I share. You're absolutely lovely, most people (especially other bloggers) understand that what you choose to share is only a fraction of your life, and I'm so grateful for the honesty and openness with which you have always shared here. XO.

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  56. I'm sorry you had to deal with that negativity-- especially when your blog is such a positive corner of the Internet!

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  57. My mind is kind of blown that GROWN people take the time to write such nonsense. I'd never heard of any sites like that before this, so maybe I'm sheltered, but I'm so sorry you came across that. You're darling, and it makes me sad that there are people who don't have enough respect for themselves to enjoy soulfully what precious time we have.

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  58. It's so easy to criticize from afar. I assure that if they knew you, they wouldn't dream of putting all of that down in writing. In fact, I'd be willing to bet any of them who may have seen this post feel pretty bad about it.

    Of course the things going on in our days don't always end up in blog posts because who wants to relive the nitty-gritty, boring and/or upsetting things that have happened? It's far more fun to sit and contemplate what there is to be happy about and spread that around.

    If you were negative all the time, then people would have comments to make about that, too. We both know I suffer from people-pleasing as well, so I feel like, in a way, maybe seeing those comments is a good thing because it has freed you from trying to please everyone who may read your blog. It just proves that no matter what we do, there will be people who are pleased and people who are not. All you can hope for is that the people who are pleased are the ones you respect and love tons. Clearly from all of the comments people have left you, that is the case. So I hope you feel free to be yourself without worry!

    I enjoy your posts and find you highly entertaining. As someone who has had the pleasure of seeing you on a daily basis, I can attest to the fact that you're just as entertaining in person. : )

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    1. Thank you, lady. I know that you and I are similar in so many ways, so I know you probably understand me more than most.

      I'm thankful for our friendship and for your encouragement! I miss you and think we need to catch up in person ASAP. <3

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    2. I'd love to! We should get lunch or something one of these weekends. Let me know if you have any free days coming up! : )

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  59. It's sad to read about you reading negative comments about your blog. Hurtful comments do hurt. Just know that I, along with a lot of others, love reading the bits and pieces you choose to share on your blog, and I hope whoever said those negative comments realize it was wrong to say.
    But that's funny what you said about not blogging about everything, and not doing things just to blog about them. I've been thinking of those exact things recently, because I always think of starting a blog in the back of my mind, and I wouldn't want to have to do things just to blog about them. So when you said that I had a 'are in my mind' moment!
    But I really like how you just blog when you want to, and only share what you want to share. Some bloggers that I read, they really say personal things, or they blog everyday, which is great, but I always think that it would be tiring. So it's great to get to know you through your blog, and see someone who just does what they want, reguardless of what's right in the blog 'rules'.
    K-is for kind
    E-is for exciting(cuz having a little girl is exciting)
    R-is for really nice
    R-i for really cool
    I-is for incredible blogger

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    1. Rachael, I hope you know how much your sweet and sincere comments always make my day. The fact that you always take the time to share your insights and to lift me up when I need it...it means so much.

      And as far as what you mentioned about blogging, and why to blog: There are so many people I've seen start blogs just to gain readership, or to share every aspect of their lives. If it works for them, then that's just fine and dandy! But I've found that the blogs I enjoy most show just a fragment of someone's life. I think that especially when you never know who is reading, there isn't any reason to bare your entire life online. It's not as safe of a place as it used to be, unfortunately.

      In any case, thank you for always being a bit of sunshine in the blog world. <3

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  60. Beautifully written! I feel terrible and so sorry to hear about negativity in the blog/internet world. It really is sad that people spend so much time and energy writing such horrible things.

    I love that we have the people-pleasing yet this-blog-is-for-me thing in common. I feel like I constantly have to remind myself that my blog is not for popularity, but for my personal journey and relationship with Him. Thank you for writing this + being so honest and real with us! :)

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    1. I left a longer response on your blog, but I wanted to say thank you here. So, thank you. :)

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  61. Your blog was one of the first I ever read years ago when I started to explore the blogging community, and it was one of the reasons that I fell in love with blogging. Over the years I have loved reading so many blogs, but yours remains one of my very favorites. You are so honest and insightful, so good at finding the beauty in simple things, so inspirational. It's sad that adults are able to revert to awful high school girls behind the veil of internet anonymity, but just like my mom used to remind me about the awful high school girls, they're usually just jealous. Your blog is genuine and wonderful, and please don't believe anyone who might say otherwise. Thank you for being you!

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    1. Oh, thank you, Meg! That means so much to me. I so appreciate you taking the time to follow my shenanigans through this blog—and to know that I was able to somehow encourage anyone else to create one of their own really makes my soul happy. I remember the first blogs I read back in the day, and it's amazing how you can get to know someone so well through the years, and yet you haven't even met them in person. Crazy! But it's what I love about blogging. You can really connect with people because you can get a glimpse into their world.

      You're definitely right about the mean girls, too. Something must really be lacking in their lives if they spend their time insulting people they don't even know.

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  62. I just don't understand why people have to be so negative and hateful. It hurts me that people are speaking badly about your blog. I don't know you but I know the you in your blog and there's nothing that I've seen that I don't like. In fact, I love your blog so much that I only wish I did know you in real life (in a totally non-creepy way, more of a hanging out and taking kids to the park kind of way).
    Sad thing is.. people don't only do this to bloggers. People do it in real life. There are only a small handful of people that know the real me (not that I'm fake, but I can be very limited in what I share with others) so I have been in your shoes before. People are so quick to judge based on the limited information that they know or think they know of you.
    You are loved here in the blog world. Keep on doing what you do so well!!

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    1. Thank you for always being so kind! I wish we could hang out in real life, too. There are so many people I've grown to know and adore online and think it's almost such an injustice that we can't all live on the same block. :)

      And you're right about the sort of negativity I encountered not being limited to blogs...it's unfortunate that there are those people who are so quick to trash someone else. Even people they don't really know or should even care about. It's pathetic. I hate knowing that my daughter has to grow up facing the same things...very sad.

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  63. Just remember: Your words and actions define you, not some one else's. <3

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    1. You speak the truth. :) Thank you, Chrissy!

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  64. How hurtful that must have been to read. :( I don't get it. I love reading your blog BECAUSE of the way you write. It's sort of, I don't know, just a sunny little window seat where one curls up with a good book and some hot cocoa, a peaceful place. This may sound totally cheesy, but really! the simple GOODness of you that comes through here, albeit just a *small* window into your life... it is really inspiring and positive. Most of us know all too well that what we share online isn't the whole story, and we also understand the need to NOT share everything. I sincerely hope you'll stick around because honestly, can the world ever have TOO MANY nice people? (No. :)

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    1. Thank you so much for this. Your encouragement and kind words really brightened my evening. :) And I think you're right—the bloggers I know all understand that our blogs don't represent 100% of our lives (often times, not even 50%). So, the people who think otherwise are definitely a little bit out of touch.

      I definitely think the world needs more niceness. Nobody walks around all like, "Man, where are all the angry, cynical, negative people? I need more of that in my life!" I mean, honestly.

      <3

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  65. Keri,
    When I read this I had just parked my car at home. I didn't want to get out yet (because it was cold) so I skimmed google reader on my phone. I came across your post and just sat and read and teared up. (True story.) Your words resonated with me. I found myself nodding along with what you were saying, actually feeling your pain.

    I'm so sorry people had nothing better to do than to say mean things to you. I can only imagine what has been said about me. I teach high school and every bad grade is CLEARLY my fault and has nothing to do with the child's lack of effort. Sigh. Words are mean and hurtful. And, like you, I can't just let it go either. It eats away at me until I start to cry because I can't understand what I did wrong.

    So I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you for sharing your story and letting me know I'm not the only one with thin skin.

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    1. Shoot my name didn't come up!

      Giuseppina :)

      ps. I bought one of your necklaces earlier this year. It's adorable!

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  66. I truly think I would react very similarly to the way you did. My heart hurt for you just reading that. I hear you, even if you are confident in what you write and share-hurtful words still hurt.
    Hang in there and keep writing.

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  67. Oh man, I know what website you're talking about and it is SOO creepy! I have come across it while googling some of the blogs I read to look at on my cellphone, where they aren't bookmarked. The people on there obviously spend a lot of time reading the blogs they "hate" because they refer to the authors and their kids & spouses by their first names and answer personal things about them to other posters who are "wondering" something.

    All I can say is, normal people, like you and myself and the majority of your readers, think those people are super creeps and would not take anything they say to heart! Think of how empty their lives must be that they have the time to devote to search out and discuss things they don't even like... just sad.

    Be happy that you are you, with a sweet life and husband and little girl! (And thanks for giving me a platform to vent about that site! I've wondered if bloggers are aware of it/equally weirded out by it.)

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  68. Ms. Kerri!

    Picture this: I'm a freshman in college, sitting around on a Tuesday night watching MTV when I should be studying or something. Between potato chip crunching, I point to Britney Spears (this was before the Britney craziness) on the screen and say, "You know, she's not really that pretty. I mean, she's pretty but enough for all of the fuss?" And my friend's friend John says, "Well, at least she's out there living her dream while you're sitting here eating potato chips." I did not like John at that moment but a few days later, I realized he was so right. I was trying to make myself feel better about myself by finding flaws in another person. I never talked like that again.

    Ignore those blog critics with bad taste. They need to put down the potato chips and get out there on stage. Gosh, what time wasters they are.

    You are a tremendous writer and a genuine person. That is why you have so many adoring readers!

    P.S. I still think you should write a book.

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  69. I actually had this conversation with someone at work recently that criticising people without knowing the full story is dangerous (as this is what had happened to me). It breeds negativity and hurt, as you've experienced. You're an awesome blogger (one of my favourite) and I wish I could blog with some of the honesty you do (I can't as I'm a teacher and therefore have to be discreet with what I put into the public domain). Stand firm in knowing you're doing what's right and as much as possible ignore the negative voices out there who usually criticise others because they have low self esteem themselves.

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  70. Good words and truth! So sad that people think they know us fully because of our blogs. Not possible!

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