September 18, 2012

on mornings, revisited...

A little more than a year ago, before my daughter was born, I wrote a post on mornings. Looking back on that post makes me smile because, oh, how things have changed since then.

I quit my job one month before my due date, which was the best decision I could have made. I knew that it was the very last time I would be able to spend by myself. Not without Jay, or friends, or family, of course...but definitely without the incredible responsibility and busyness that comes with new motherhood. It was time well spent. Cleansing, renewing, calming.

Out with the old life, in with the new life.

I'm thankful I didn't spend the last few weeks before Eisley arrived sitting in an office, enduring the incredibly long commute to and from work, rushing to meet deadlines, and worrying about anything and everything there was to worry about. I'm thankful I knew myself well enough to take some time to linger in the in-between. I really needed it. It was a luxury, for sure, but well worth it in the long run.

I look back on those mornings I spent during that time at home, before Eisley, and smile. I knew that the quiet, clean, peaceful mornings I grew to adore would change in a million ways once there was a little one by my side.

Mornings are now for very different things. They are for kisses goodbye from Jay as he leaves for work—smiling (or frowning with sleepiness), squeezing my eyes shut, curling into my pillow, hoping the noise of Jay closing the front door isn't enough to wake Eisley from her slumber. Silent prayers of thanks when I think back on the night before and realize I actually got a decent amount of sleep. Eisley's first smiles as she stands up in her crib, pointing excitedly at the photos on the wall as she always does when she first wakes, hastily attempting to throw her big blanket over the railing, babbling enthusiastically with words only she can understand.

Mornings are for Sesame Street, opening the blinds, spreading a quilt on the ground and covering it with toys and books, opening the front door to let the fresh, cool air fill the room. Cheese and Cheerios for her, coffee and an english muffin for me, fresh fruit for us both. Jotting down our schedule for the day in my planner, making a note of how our night went (adding a smiley face when it was particularly good). Silly games, tummy tickles, ridiculous voices, familiar songs.

Mornings are for washing the dishes that fill the sink from dinner the night before, sweeping the kitchen floor, taking out the recycling. Holding Eisley while she looks at all the photos on our fridge—taking great care to make sure she isn't successful in swiping all the magnets off and onto the floor. Attempting to read a few pages of a book while Eisley surrounds herself with a pile of magazines, all of our DVDs, several dozen poker chips, a rather nice selection of travel-sized shampoo and conditioner bottles, and an entire drawer of tupperware lids.

Mornings are for nursing and a nap for her, and a deep, cleansing breath for me. Cleaning the duplex for the first time (of many), sneaking another pumpkin muffin to go with my second cup of coffee, diving into email, Etsy orders, creative endeavors, and the rest of my daily to-do list. Phone calls with sisters and parents. Guilty pleasures, like Dawson's Creek on Netflix, semisweet chocolate chips straight from the bag, Twitter, and browsing Etsy for things to add to my wish-I-could-buy list.

Mornings are for quick showers, quick make-up application, quick hairstyles, and taking entirely too long to change out of my pajamas. Realizing that this is the one time in my life I don't have to dress to impress, that my daughter still needs me and loves me regardless of what I look like. Rocking a messy bun and yoga pants most days, red lipstick and skinny jeans some days, mascara and my awesome diaper bag always.

Mornings are for feeling incredibly thankful. Even more than they were before.

12 comments :

  1. I love this so much.

    You make it sound so... idyllic. You have a way with imagery. :)

    Our mornings feel a blend of chaotic and cozy. On morning I go to work, I love getting dressed up and out so early - driving alone to work is my peaceful quiet ALONE time. :) On mornings I stay home, there is just a lot of coffee and trying to check my email while Gabe tugs at my hand to go 'pay twains!' Ha.

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    1. Thank you for the compliment, Ash!

      And I hear you on the equal parts chaotic and cozy...as Eisley gets older, the more she wants to play with me (constantly), so it gets tricky to have any "me" time until she naps. Driving to work (listening to whatever music I want, without a little one hollering!) sounds surprisingly nice these days. Heehee.

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  2. I love this. I'm expecting my first little one in a month and this hits so close to home right now. I'm enjoying this quiet morning with my puppies and wondering how much our world will be rocked this time next month. You give me hope that once the initial chaos passes, we'll all find a new, calming, renewing routine. Love.

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    1. Thank you for the thoughtful comment, Kate! The last month before "meeting" your little one is so full of anticipation and excitement. I'm sure you're soaking up all the last bits of time to yourself before mommyhood truly begins. Best of luck—and I'm here if you ever want to chat about anything at all! :)

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  3. This post was so dreamy. It's amazing to get a view into the life of a stay at home mom. It all seems so simple but hectic and fulfilling at the same time. Lucky you!

    Joy @ www.peppermintcandies.net

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    1. Thank you so much, Joy! And I do feel very lucky. It's a lot of work, but there's no place I'd rather be. :)

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  4. This is lovely :) My mornings are much the same here, but you have a way of making them sound peaceful and dreamy... Reminding me to find beauty in the simple things. Thank you for that. Also- it's 1:30pm and I just did the quick shower- quick makeup- quick hairdo routine. Like JUST did it.. 10 minutes ago :)

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    1. Hey, no shame in our game. ;) And thank you for the sweet comment (as always!).

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  5. I love this. My mornings are similar right now, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

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    1. Amen, sister. We are lucky ladies.

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  6. Pure bliss. Enjoy it all and soak it in. Sounds like a love of love in those mornings.
    I didn't work when I was pregnant with my first but I did go to school. Senior year of college, but classes ended a few weeks before my son was born and I loved those weeks! I am so glad I had no other responsibilities other than washing tiny baby clothes and waddling my way thru Babies R Us.

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