September 20, 2011

on being close...

Jay and I fell in love quickly.


It was only a matter of weeks before we were saying those three words to each other during a weekend away with a few friends. That night is still crystal clear in my mind—maybe not what I was wearing or what images flickered on the television screen, lighting up our faces in the dark. But I remember the way it felt, knowing someone so well without knowing much about them at all. Feeling so safe and content. My mind, how it was swirling with thoughts of meeting his family, marrying him, what we would name our children, settling down to live in a cute little house surrounded by pine trees.

I loved the way he had a smile just for me, the way he asked me hundreds of questions about what I liked and who I was, the way he would do anything for anyone. Silly things, like how he always took off his shoes when he was driving, how his nose did this tiny little twitch each time he blinked, or how on our first date he sang out loud to the radio without worrying what I would think.

I sort of always felt like he was mine, right from the beginning.

I never felt the need to wait any longer to tell him I loved him. Mostly because even before saying the words, we both knew it was true. Kind of like when we started talking about our future, or when he proposed only months later. It was like these things were already a part of our lives and we simply had to say the words to make them real.

One night, we were sitting together and I was sort of snuggled up close to his chest. His arms were around me and I remember thinking about how my heart was so full—it was one of those moments of pure contentment. The ones where you feel there is truly nowhere else you'd rather be, or nobody else you'd rather be with. He kept pulling me closer, his arms wrapped around my shoulders, my legs leaning against his.

"You're not close enough," he said, hugging me tightly. "You're just not close enough. Get closer."

I remember grinning into his shoulder, because it was a silly thing to say considering there was no way I could possibly be closer to him than I was at that moment. Still, I understood what he meant. It was like no matter how tightly he held me, it wasn't enough. We didn't want to let go of each other. We didn't want to ever be apart.

Every now and then I remember these specific moments and I can't help but ache to relive them. There's something about falling in love—with that person you're going to spend your life with—that is unparalleled. I'd give anything to be there in that moment, feeling what I felt, just once more.

It was a good moment.

18 comments :

  1. this was magical. that is all.

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  2. <3333 I love this. Jen and I fell in love quickly as well, when I was 13. I knew instantly I would marry her and vice versa. Despite the fact that we knew, everyone else said we were in young love - which would end. And honestly? I still fall in love with her more every day, eight years later and four of them married.

    You and Jay have such a fantastic relationship. You two warm my heart!!!

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  3. So very true. We have to remember these special moments more often during our busy lives.

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  4. You took the words right out of my mouth.

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  5. My heart aches for those moments as well. You can never plan them, but when they happen the world stops. Beautiful post.

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  6. sadly, i don't think i've ever felt this way in my life. i hope i will one day. it sounds beautiful.

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  7. How sweet! I told my (now) husband that I loved him after only dating for three weeks, but we both knew pretty much right away.

    Now I want to go find my husband and give him a big, squishy hug. But considering we work in the same building, I should probably wait until we get home. :)

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  8. This brings me back to that same time in my life, thank you. I don't think Andy and I moved as quickly as you guys did, but I don't mind that we took our time. :)

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  9. How very sweet! I remember having those moments too as a young couple. Blissful. And there are many more moments like that to come, trust me. I'm so happy that you and Jay have such a great relationship for your sweet girl to look up to.

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  10. What a sweet post! I totally agree...I would give anything to have one of those "falling in love" moments again. So sweet.

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  11. I was JUST talking about this sort of thing with my friend last night. I was saying how I often like to relive those same kinds of moments in my head, and it somehow makes you fall in love with that person all over again. I love this moment of yours, and it makes me think of how intense that Death Cab song is..."I need you so much closer..."

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  12. what a beautiful memory. ;-) i have so many memories of matt and I in our early stages of "young love". so much fun.

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  13. This is such a beautiful post! I need to write down memories like this for Nathan and I - that way, when I'm feeling grumpy because he hasn't showered for the fifth day - I can remember how much I love him :D

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  14. You write so eloquent and beautifully here. This is truly one of life's best feeling ever.
    xx

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  15. That is amazing. That's exactly what I wish to find in my future guy! You lucky girl you.

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  16. Those moments, when you can't possibly be any closer physically but NEED TO BE CLOSER, are my favorite.

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  17. This makes me all swoony. I love those moments.

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  18. Awww this is so sweet and adorable and warm and fuzzy! I giggled when I read the "get closer" part- my boyfriend and I have moments like that sometimes. Falling in love is so full of wonder and magic moments. :)

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