August 4, 2011

on two more weeks...

A few days ago, Jay and I were leaving the house to run some errands and a woman who was stopped in her car at the stoplight yelled at us out her window. "CONGRAAAATS ON THE BABY!" Jay and I kind of looked at each other and then at the woman and then sort of waved while we laughed at the awkwardness. Jay was all, "How did she know? Did she see the baby monitor you were carrying?" And I was all, "DO YOU SEE THIS SITUATION?" (Pointing at my belly, obviously.)

Yesterday, I fell over trying to put on some pants. I sort of lay there, crumpled up on the bed thinking, Well, this is new.

This morning I attempted to pumice my feet in the shower. I am fairly sure I reached some sort of Cirque du Soleil status in the process, except that nobody would pay money to see that mess.

In any case, today I reached 38 weeks and I can't help but reflect a bit on the past nine months. I've had an incredible pregnancy—I really have. I think that the joyful moments have far outweighed the ones that left me wishing for it to all be over. Actually, when I really stop to think about it, I'm going to miss being pregnant.

I had a lot of nausea and exhaustion during the first and second trimesters (and the nausea felt the need to hang out periodically even into my third trimester), and working full-time with a very long commute during most of my pregnancy was a huge challenge. However, I made it through. I'm only now beginning to be uncomfortable and feeling like my body is no longer my own (especially at 3 in the morning when I have to literally roll out of bed in order to make it to the bathroom for the fourth time). But, really, for the most part, I've lucked out. I've had no complications or symptoms that made me excessively stabby. Also, on a completely superficial note, I'm somehow managed to avoid stretch marks thus far…and now need to find a block of wood to knock on immediately.

I've felt beautiful. I've felt blessed. I've been fascinated as my body has changed, as my heart has prepared for motherhood, as I've been surrounded by loving and supportive friends and family. I've cherished the kicks and the ultrasounds. Hearing the heartbeat. Folding tiny newborn clothes. Dreaming up what she'll look like. Whispering her name like a mantra throughout the day.

Still, every now and then, I get this panicky rush when I remember that she could arrive any day and this time of blissful ignorance will soon be gone. Am I ready? Is she ready? Is Jay ready? Do we have everything we need? IS THIS REAL LIFE?

I definitely feel like she's going to be late as opposed to early, but I like to entertain myself with thoughts of my water breaking at Albertsons, making a huge scene and freaking everyone out. Every tiny pain I feel within my body makes me stop dead in my tracks and think, "Wait, what was that?" Every time my belly tightens I get really quiet and wonder, "Could this be it?" Every time I feel her moving about I stop what I'm doing and smile. Every time I look at myself in the mirror I think, "Wow, I'm actually pregnant. That's kind of weird."

You'd think at this point it would feel a bit more real, but so often it feels a bit like a daydream.

28 comments :

  1. So amazing! We still have three months to go and sometime I am bowled over by that fact. I can't wait for her to get here! So excited for you lady.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aw, I love this post. I've a been a lurker for a while and I think you are going to make a great mother. Can't wait to see pictures of that little bundle of joy! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. pumice in the shower = awesome idea!

    Hubs painted my toenails in the 3rd trimester and it was so incredibly (messy?) endearing.

    You are one of the most glowy pregnant girlies I've ever seen, I'm so happy for you and I'm thinking nothing but good thoughts for you the next two weeks!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Being friends with you during the most important time of your life has been the highlight of my year. I remember crying when I found out you were pregnant, crying when you left work, and I'm sure I'll be bawling my eyes out when little Eisley arrives! Love you!

    ReplyDelete
  5. a word of warning... i got stretch marks with my first at 39 weeks! so watch out and dont give up on the lotion!

    also, i have had three pregnancies adn putting your jeans on does not get easier... you always fall down!

    ReplyDelete
  6. One of my best friends just delivered a perfect baby girl at 38 weeks so don't rule out the early arrival quite yet! Thinking about you, friend!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I can't tie my shoes anymore and I have still quite a lot to go. I'm NOT enjoying my pregnancy at all... but I think it's just me and my body not getting on so well with my little one inside me.
    I saw your photos of your belly on Flickr and you looked beautiful, from the 18 weeks to now! I'm so happy for you that you're so close to have your little baby girl with you.
    Thinking of you that everything goes well from now on! :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. i lol'd and lol'd some more at the thought of you falling over while putting on your pants :p that is ALREADY me & i'm only 26 wks. help me, Lord! hah! has it really been 38 wks?! it's GO TIME, baby. (mine has gone SO fast for me, too. like, whoa! slow it down a bit, kinda fast.) i'm soooo excited for you & jay. and i'm even more excited to "meet" your baby girl SO SOOOOOON!!!!! (i mean on the blog, but hey. it's still counts as a meet, ya?) EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! youz hazin' a BA-BAE!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I really love this, especially the Albertsons part because A: that store is heavenly and B: I could imagine I'd have the same exact thoughts if I was pregnant. You're too cute! :D

    ReplyDelete
  10. It still hasn't hit me that I am a mother. At random times I will be like "oh my goodness, Thatcher is a human. And we made him. And he's ours!" But most of the time it still feels like a dream. A few weeks AFTER delivery I started to miss being pregnant, too.

    ReplyDelete
  11. This is lovely and beautiful and such a good time to look back on!

    Funny story: When my mom was pregnant with me, her water broke when she was shopping at Bealls. I'm sure that was tons of fun! :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. I miss being pregnant! My sweet little girl is 9 months now. Everyone said it would go by so fast and I didn't want to believe them. Don't rush anything. She will crawl, sit, talk, eat sooner than you think. I'm excited for you and your new life together with the 3 of you. I will be praying for you. Rest up.

    ReplyDelete
  13. My husband painted my toes when I was in my third trimester. And by "toes", I mean the actual toes, not just the nails. He meant well, but ... yeah.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I truly love reading your thoughts, on pretty much everything in life, not just pregnancy. I hope you continue to blog once your little girl arrives. :) Good luck with her entrance and I can't wait to hear all about it!

    ReplyDelete
  15. So. I totally got teary-eyed reading this.

    As MY baby somehow turns an ENTIRE YEAR OLD in a few weeks, I am nostalgic for embarking on that journey again. For the newness of becoming a mother for the first time and how exciting and amazing and sweet it all is.

    It's really a shame we can't slow the good parts of life down. Babies are babies for too short a time!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Ha ha, I totally understand what you are saying. When I was in the delivery room and the nurses were hooking me up to all sorts of machines, I asked "So, is this really happening today?" He he :) I am so excited for you!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Being in the hospital felt surreal, leaving the hospital with a bundle felt surreal, everyday of my life with my new baby feels surreal. I thoroughly enjoy my moments with him.

    I can't wait to hear about your new baby being born!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Your wee one could be here any day! :) I'm so happy you've had such a great pregnancy. That really is such a blessing.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I love reading your thoughts. You still make me laugh out loud and I think you will be such a wonderful mum. I'm so glad that you were blessed with this baby and can't wait to 'meet' her. x

    ReplyDelete
  20. Loved reading this. I love how you write!
    Exciting time. And even though I've never been pregnant, reading your words helps me understand what it could be like!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Yay! I'm 32 weeks, so I've enjoyed reading your six-weeks-ahead reflections.

    ReplyDelete
  22. That is such a cute story about Jay wondering how the lady could know you were expecting! I can't believe you only have 2 weeks to go. How exciting. I truly can not wait to hear that you have had your baby, and see pictures of her. You are going to be a great mom, Kerri!

    ReplyDelete
  23. 2 WEEKS!!!!?!?!?!? WHAAAT!?!? I can't believe you only have 2 weeks left! I am so freaking excited to meet this little peanut! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  24. seriously this post is too cute and definitely made me laugh and say "awww kerri". also i really hope i am as happy and "ohmygoodness this is real" about my future pregnancy when that day comes for me, haha.

    ReplyDelete
  25. This post really makes me miss being pregnant. Its such an amazing time to be on the brink of having a baby. You know your life will not be the same, yet you have no idea exactly how great it will be. You will be a wonderful mommy and your sweet girl is so lucky!
    I seriously laughed-out-loud at Jay not realizing why the lady knew you were pregnant. Hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  26. pregnancy was not my friend, I'm so glad you are having a much better experience.
    Having a baby is a beautiful blessing, my little boy is 11 weeks today! Seems like yesterday I was finding out I was pregnant.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Just over a week to your due date! I can't believe its here already! You are going to be an amazing Mama! I know you're probably so ready to have her and get past the extreme discomfort of having such a large belly, but try to enjoy these last few days of your two person family :) You and Jay must be so excited and anxious to meet her! I'm thinking about y'all and can't wait to hear how it goes!!!

    ReplyDelete
  28. love this post - i just found your blog and as a new mom to 6th month old, I can totally relate ;)

    http://www.thedailybalance.com

    ReplyDelete

Thoughts? Questions? General musings? Do share!

If you are asking a question, I will respond here within the comments—so, be sure to click that handy little "notify me" box below to know when I've replied!