May 14, 2011

on a tiny update...

vacation.

Life has been busy, indeed. Overwhelming weeks at work, a short vacation to Virginia, crafting whenever I have a chance, organizing the duplex, getting new couches (which miraculously managed to fit in our living room after many tears and a lot of dramatics on my part), baby kicks and heartburn, trying not to spend all my money on McDonald's mocha frappes, making a lot of to-do lists, abandoning a lot of to-do lists, and so on and so forth.

I've realized that I seem to be on this never-ending quest to catch up on things, yet I never feel like I'm any closer to my goal. Either I'm not giving myself enough credit or I don't have a realistic view of how much should be accomplished within the span of one day, one week, one month. (Perhaps a bit of both those things.)

Even though today has been an absolutely glorious day, I can't help but look at those last five items on my to-do list that I didn't manage to get to and...it just makes me feel like I'm so behind. And then I decide to eat a fudge bar, put on my pajamas and try not to cry. (Yes, I'm emotional. Pregnancy does not help these things.)

Life just feels so noisy lately. So busy. I crave simplicity and moments when I can sit by myself, quietly, not doing a thing and not feeling guilty about it. Part of me wants to disappear for a week and become a crazy hermit to does nothing but write in her journal, curled up on the couch while listening to folksy music. It's a little embarrassing how appealing that sort of thing sounds right now.

I have always been someone who wants a simple life. And although I have a feeling there is just too much going on in order to have the true simplicity I've been craving, I hope it's somewhere around the corner. In any case, holding on to the sparkling moments throughout my busy days helps me keep things in perspective.

Sweet moments with Jay, phone calls with my sisters, surprises in my mailbox, a perfectly clean duplex, rediscovering an outfit I haven't worn in years, encouraging words from friends, unexpected compliments, daydreaming about what our little girl is going to look like, having time for a hot breakfast before I head to work. It helps to remember all the goodness in my life, especially when I feel like everything is just getting to be too much.

9 comments :

  1. Heh. You know, I've heard it said that any one day's to-do list should have NO MORE than 5 things on it. Perhaps that would be a place to start?

    Make simplicity for yourself. You deserve it. :)

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  2. i love reading your posts.
    the way you write and describe things makes me feel like i am there!

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  3. As I was reading your blog, I couldn't help but think of a blog I read the other day called "one better". It's a pretty quick read but might be an encouragement to your heart!

    http://www.incourage.me/2011/04/one-better.html

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  4. Maybe you need a day without a to do list. I'm always going off my to do list, and never getting everything done. What if there was a day where we just went at our own pace and didn't feel like we had to get anything done.

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  5. Ugh, yes, I know this feeling all too well. Molly over at Stratejoy wrote about this a few days ago. She recommended "not accomplishing anything tomorrow". I've tried it this weekend and it's been exactly what I needed. Relaxing, rejuvenating, and days full of peace.

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  6. You're growing a baby; you need to sit and chill. I think our nesting instincts kick in though and make us feel like we're being lazy or unproductive if "all" we're doing is sitting there.

    But when you do kick back, I found this yesterday and thought you'd enjoy it. It's an album of spoken poetry about growing and having a baby:

    http://holliemcnish.bandcamp.com/album/push-kick-a-journey-through-the-beauty-brilliance-and-bollocks-of-having-a-baby-2

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  7. You're pregnant! You don't have to do everything! But I understand. Getting ready for a baby is a lot of work! But still.

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