on a re-post: that one time I was accused of shoplifting...

This is a re-post because I'm on vacation! (I know, I'm weird.) But this story still makes me physically angry and I thought I'd share it with you. My friend and I still talk about it to this day and although it's a little funny to think about now, we are still slightly bitter. Anyway, this was originally posted on August 4th, 2007:

A couple of days ago, I was accosted by a snobby french boutique owner.

Well, not accosted per se (I'm not going to lie, I'm not even exactly sure what being accosted would imply, but I just like how it sounds) but still. M and I were straight up accused of shoplifting. Yes, that's right. I, who has never stolen anything in my life (with the exception of a purple button I stole in first grade because I thought it was pretty much the greatest purple button I had ever seen in my young life, and various pens I've taken, on occasion, because I'm quite pen-obsessive - which I will rant on at a later date) was being accused of swiping an over-priced cotton dress, which I could totally find at Target or Forever 21 for about $19. Riiiiight.

So, M and I wandered into said boutique after we enjoyed a nice happy hour on the beach. There were quite a few cute summer dresses - very MK&A, if you ask me. (MK&A = Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen. You know.) We shared a dressing room because it was the only one open with a mirror. We both tried on a couple dresses, laughed at the fact that we couldn't pull them off unless we were some sort of rich, anorexic socialites, and marveling at the fact that the dresses were all over $60 for no apparent reason aside from the fact that we were in a snooty beach-side boutique. We hung the dresses back up, complimented a girl trying on an adorable Grecian frock, and left the store as the owner/cashier/rude french saleslady gave us this odd look and kept asking us how everything worked out for us.

We went next door for some treats (probably the greatest brownie of my life - probably the last one I should eat for the rest of my life, based on the calorie intake) and sat down outside to chat. After a few minutes went buy, this snooty high school girl came walking by and stopped by our table. I recognized her as the girl trying on the adorable Grecian frock in the boutique. (I immediately regretted giving her a compliment in the store. I should have told her to put on a bra because I could see her nips. Anyway.)

She walks up.

SHG (snooty high school girl, obv.): "Um, did you take something from that store back there?"
M: "Nnooooo...?"
me: (rather confused about what she was asking) "Uh, no. We didn't buy anything? We couldn't afford anything in there, anyway." (Totally don't know why I wanted to sound completely poor around this punk, but when I get nervous and/or confused I get completely awkward. I should have told her that I just didn't want to pay three times the amount for a flimsy dress that certainly wasn't worth it.)
SHG: "Um, yeah. Well. I meant take. The lady in there said they were missing a dress, and she showed me an empty hangar."
M: "WHAT? Are you serious?"
me: (trying to rationalize the situation) "Well, we do have our bags with us for the beach, and we have our towels in them, so maybe...I don't know, maybe she thought we shoved some dresses in them...you know, she did look at us kind of weirdly when we were leaving, come to think of it."
SHG: "Yeah, um, you know, I didn't know or anything, but I had to come by and ask 'cause I'm a bitch like that." (sauntering off with some fake laughter and snootiness)

I could hardly believe that I was being accused of shoplifting by some stupid girl whose shoes cost more than a months rent, and who had the audacity to interrupt our snack to ask us if we STOLE something. I could have kicked her.

M and I were rather upset. We couldn't believe that saleslady. Rude much lately? Are some people not born with decency? M and I in no way were shady or sneaky when we were in there. We couldn't believe it.

So, heck, the lady was next door, so why shouldn't we confront her ourselves? We marched back into the stuffy little boutique and saw the rude french saleslady on the phone.

M: "Did you just tell that girl that we stole from you?"
RFS (rude french saleslady, obv.): (all surprised and embarrassed) "Ah, nooo. No, no no! Eet vas not youuu. Zere was anozah girl in here. No, no, no. Not youuuu!"
me: "Well, we were the only ones in here. Do you want to check our bags or something? We didn't take anything."
M: (completely on a roll) "It was VERY presumptuous of you to go around telling someone else that we STOLE something from you, because we DIDN'T."
RFS: "Wha? No, no, noooo. Not youuuu geeerls. I know her (pointing at me), she eez in ere all zee time!"
M: "Yeah, she's never been here before. And now we know never to shop here again."

We left, and I was completely impressed by M's assertiveness. I'm too nice most of the time. At least I think that the saleslady was sufficiently embarrassed about the situation. I wasn't as embarrassed, as completely surprised that A) someone at a store would straight up tell a customer that she knew another customer had stolen something, and B) that some stupid girl would straight up come up to us and ask us if we stole something, like we'd admit to her and pull out a flimsy cotton dress from our bag. Who are you to do that? Seriously.

Okay, I'm done. It was just such a random moment in life, you know? Completely random.