July 25, 2009

on a post for a bride-to-be...

Dear Renee,

First of all, may I just profess my undying love for you? I mean, I know your fiance has already done the same - but, still. You are lovely beyond compare and your smile has the ability to light up any room. (If your fiance has already said that to you, then that's not fair, and I think that he needs to talk to my husband.) In all seriousness, you are an incredible person and I'm so thankful to count you as a friend. There is something completely magnetic and endearing about you - something that makes everyone say,

"That Renee is a peach. I want to be her BFF, like, yesterday. Also, I kind of want to hug her immediately."

So, I'm here to give you the advice of an old married woman. Or, at the very least, the advice of a woman who has been married exactly three years and five months. Almost down to the hour, actually.

At this point on my wedding day, I'm pretty sure I was chugging bottled water and powdering my face for the seventeenth time and the church coordinator was shoving her hands down the front of my dress to give me an inappropriate amount of cleavage. My first word of advice? Don't trust your bosoms to a woman who admits to a history of "doing Renaissance fairs". You're welcome.

I think that my best bit of advice would be to always remember to find joy in your situation. Granted, I've failed miserably at this exact thing (many times over the years). But, in hindsight, I wish that I would have appreciated each of those first days, weeks, months and years of marriage for exactly what they were. Things definitely don't go as smoothly as you'd like, and married life does take a bit of getting used to - but those little bumps along the way are all part of the story.

And the truth of the matter is that when you're a young married couple, things seem to be especially overwhelming:

Money, not having enough money, rent/mortgage, baby fever, college, finding that post-college job, silly fights over silly things, baby fever, building a nest egg, decorating with two sets of opinions, baby fever, surviving a quarter-life-crisis, delegating chores and other duties, the blending of two families, BABY FEVER AHHH.

Exciting, right? I know. I can almost taste the anticipation in the air. But, guess what? That's not all. Here is what else you have to look forward to:

Experiencing a beautiful wedding with friends and family, complete and utter happiness on the honeymoon, knowing you are with the one person who can make you all kinds of giddy, making decisions together that make you feel like you're actually a grown-up, becoming the person you're meant to be - next to the person you're meant to be with, dreaming up what your children will look like and getting that mushy feeling when you see your husband with little kids, seeing your relationship grow and flourish, looking forward to the next ten, twenty, thirty, forty years and knowing you'll still be together when you're old and gray and probably a little crazy.

So, that's all to say: Remember that every point in your lives together is worth celebrating. And celebrate you should. With a lot of wine and spoonage.


(This post is for Renee's "Virtual Bridal Shower" - planned by the lovely Erin!)


  1. Great post! It is so important to remember things as you go! I'm trying hard to do that!

  2. Hi. I ADORE you. If I had never met Joe and you had never met Jay, maybe we could have lived together as pseudo lesbian lovers, minus all the kissing and actual lesbian stuff.

    But in all seriousness, thank you for being so wonderful, for your kind words, and your heartfelt advice. It means the world to me. Love you!!

  3. wow, this is SUCH A NEAT and amazing lovely idea.

    renee is a lucky girl. such sweet words kerri!


    (ps: thanks for your kind comment. i cant wait to meet, one day.)

  4. Ok. I vividly remember the wedding coordinator sticking her hands down your dress, I was standing right there... I laugh every time I think about it, even Molly loves to tell the story because of how great I tell it. You're an icon in wedding history, my friend.

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  6. awww wow, this post is beautiful.

  7. Oh. My. Word.

    The part about never trusting your cleavage to a women with a lot of experience in Renaissance fairs may have made my entire night.

    For serious.

    Heart you!

  8. That's a really sweet post and it makes me all excited. Great advice =) And I'm sure to take it on myself next year eee!

  9. May I just say that I pretty much wish I was more like you? Or is that creepy of me? OH NO ... I don't want to be creepy!?!

    This is also a very sweet idea.

  10. LOL Spoonage?! You just made me burst into laughter at my desk. I wish we lived closer to each other, being able to properly talk to you once in a while would do wonders for my heart, I'm sure =)

  11. These are the kindest words I have ever read. They remind me to celebrate all of the moments with my husband no matter where we are.

    We are currently living in a rental...in a city we hate...waiting for the opportunity to move and buy. I feel like waiting is the key word. Some days I don't feel like I'm living. I try, and need to try harder, to appreciate our time together...no matter where we are. I'm not waiting for my life to start...it has already started...and sometimes I feel like I'm sitting on the sidelines...

  12. sarahdotcom7/27/09, 9:42 AM

    Oh this is lovely!

  13. Lovely post! Congrats to you & Jay on the 3 years, 5 months. That's awesomely impressive =)

  14. um love this post. it makes me all sorts of happy inside.


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