June 27, 2009

on being Monica Geller...

This post is my entry for 20SB's "Looking Back" Blog Carnival. I've never participated in any of the Blog Carnivals, because most of the time I spend entirely too long writing the perfect post inside of my head that I end up missing the deadline. (Which is awesome.)

Well, anyway, I found out about this month's topic and realized how perfect it was: Take a post from the first two months of your blog and re-post it. Um, hello? I do that all the time! I love it! Sign me up! And then I read that Ben & Jerry's is awarding free ice cream to lucky bloggers and readers. (Way to twist my arm arm a little, homeboy.)

Obviously, I need more ice cream in my life. I don't think you understand.

The post I decided to go with was from the first month I started this blog. I think that it highlights two things quite nicely:

1) I am seriously OCD. Don't judge me.

2) The first bit of marriage teaches you a lot about patience, compromise and things you have to learn to seriously shut up about because they are so not worth the argument (especially after having the same argument seventeen times in a row).

originally posted April 7, 2006:

Much to my dismay (more so to my better half), I have come to the conclusion recently that there is a side of me that hasn't manifested itself until this point in my life.

I am Monica Geller.

I would never have considered myself a neat-freak or a maniac when it comes to organization or cleanliness or what shade of green is the only acceptable shade of green for the towels in our bathroom. Yet, all of a sudden, after the wedding and I moved in to the apartment, I have these out of body moments where I'm watching myself throw a fit because there is a fleck of food left on the dish that my husband washed. I want to throw myself to the ground and yell, "WHY, GOD, WHY? WHY MUST I CARE?" I try not to, I really do. And yet...I care. It's odd.

My older sister was always the ├╝ber organized, must-vacuum-her-room-every-week, drawers neatly organized, even-the-bulletin-board-isn't-cluttered one of us. Me? Well, I wasn't MESSY messy, but I will admit to paying my younger sister $1 to get myself out of vacuuming my room. Ah, yes, those were the days.

So, to make a long story short, I would have never guessed that I'd be this crazy.

To be honest, when I come home from work and there are papers scattered on every shelf, table and ledge, the dishes are all over the counter, and clothes strewn throughout the rooms (courtesy of the love of my life) I actually can feel myself tense up. I get angry and start running around, huffing and puffing, cleaning until everything looks the way I want. I know it drives my husband crazy. Especially when he's gone and helped me out with something, and I go and re-do it, so it looks "right".

I have no soul. It's a mystery to me, what I've become.

Maybe it's just different now that it's a place of our own. Maybe I am just accustomed to the way things were growing up, when my mom would clean the house every day, and would never go to bed with dirty dishes on the counter. Of course, here I am, and things are just different. I have to pay $1 each time I want to run a load of wash (and I have to run back and forth to the laundry room to do so), I have to hand wash every dish and glass (do you have any comprehension of how many dishes that two people produce?), and I have a linoleum floor in the kitchen that looks dirty no matter how many hours I spend scrubbing it. Mom made it look easy.

So. I'm working on it. Hopefully the husband won't choke me with the vacuum cord in the meantime. I'm so lucky that he has the patience of a saint.


  1. You expressed my own inner-fears about being a control freak and OCD about clutter PERFECTLY. Thank you.

    As you know, I'm moving in with the boyfriend in ... oh a week, and I'm terrified that he'll kill me (or vice versa) because I'm sooo particular about how "my" space is supposed to be. I'm coming to you for advice in the future!

  2. I've been that way since I got married nearly 10 years ago and haven't stopped. Even having a baby hasn't stopped me. I'm pretty sure I have a sickness! Although, there are worse things than wanting things clean and organized!

  3. I've always been messy and yea my elder sister was always neat and kept things organized. Unfortunately I have no younger sister or I would have adopted the idea to pay and get things neat He He He! :D My mom always asks me "how will you manage after marriage"? (that's rhyming), and honestly my boyfriend is also messy (dude don't read this please) so I must learnt to keep things neat at this point so that it wont be difficult after marriage (though its way long) :)

  4. What a cute story. I am scared I might turn into Monica one day as well. But my obsessive cleaning and order comes from my father. Glad I'm not alone out here!

  5. I'm so glad you posted that. I got married 2 1/2 months ago, and I was starting to think I was crazy. We're living in a 75% finished house, and we play hard on the weekends, so NOTHING gets done. The floors haven't been cleaned GOOD since the week we moved in, and I can literally sneeze from 10 feet away & the dust on the entertainment center will fly in 30 different directions. We haven't made our bed in probably about 2 weeks, and I have the Monica Gellar problem.

    So thank you for making me feel a little more normal - hopefully, soon, I'll be able to start picking my battles, which will result in a much less tense me (and husband).

  6. I love that post, and what I truly love is how your voice has developed over the years. What a great blog carnival and here is to winning ben n' jerry's ice cream.

  7. I think it's SO mature, right until now I'm still all cluttered and I need to live with someone like you :p

  8. I think Imust be a little MG too... and I thought I used to be easy to live with. ha! I lived in our marital home (ok, rental property) alone for 2 years before I married and it was spacious and sparse, and yet beautifully organised.... add to that 1 hairy, messy, huge lump of a man (who is gorgeous, by the way... which has stopped me murdering him a coupleof times, boy is he lucky) and the whole place turned into a hell hole. My nice pretty loungeroom is now packed with stuff,only it's my stuff that I had to move out of our room to accomodate his things and our baby stuff.
    I find myself falling apart at the sign of chaos... I'm not as carefree as I once imagined!!

  9. omg i can totally relate. i am now super obsessed with how things look and am constantly trying to rearrange my little apartment to not look messy if anything is out. My floor is a hot mess constantly and the linoleum always looks dirty no matter what. i even spent a couple of hours on my hands and knees scrubbing and phil said, "well, it does look shinier." it totally looks dirty no matter what, but it's a great starter apartment and i can look back years from now and laugh at it all!

  10. Oh snap.

    I've always been slightly messy. Not crazy, disgusting, but a little cluttered.

    But - as soon as the man and I had our own place, I wanted it to be IMMACULATE (or at least neat).

    I was insane about dirty dishes, and piles of papers, and throw pillows. I went a little crazy, and drove him a little crazier.

  11. Oops! I accidentally posted as Anonymous.

  12. I feel that way sometimes. My heart hurts when I walk into the kitchen when I get home from work and it's a mess.

    And when hubs does the laundry...I get too nervous to just sit and let him do it because he does not fold my clothes correctly...he dries things that can't be dried....and he leaves my white socks in the dryer because it is the last load he does. Er.

  13. OCD? If really wanna claim OCD you gotta say it CDO - alphabetical-like it should be!


  14. This is totally me. As a teenager my room wasn't dirty or messy persay, but I'd die if I ever reverted back. Now I am the same as you where I flip out when I come home and the mail is strewn about the kitchen counter, clutter on the coffee table, the worst is we have two kids and it drives me BANANAS when their play room is messy. I've even gone to the point of not letting them play in there because I didn't want the room to get messy, toys out of place. Its a sickness I realize. ;) But hey, it could be worse ....

  15. Oh I was a slob growing up. But then I would be OCD about random things (like the time I cried because the house cleaners dusted my trophies and DID NOT LINE THEM ALL BACK UP BY HEIGHT. Yes that was me.)

    Once I got to college and had my own space that was mine to CONTROL, I was a monster. I'm definitely with you on how during the course of your marriage you just kind of get over it. I have learned to appreciate the things Cale does (picking up the dog poop, yeah I think that in itself is enough), and he is better at expressing how much he appreciates living in such a clean and comfortable home.

  16. I SO think I'm Monica Geller sometimes. And othertimes, Joey. I'm lucky that I can be all OCD-the-towels-must-be-folded-so-the-seams-and-edges-are-even, and then I can (with my linen closet looking masterfully gorgeous) eat pie off the (VERY CLEAN) floor because it's freaking good pie!


  17. oh yah, and congrats on the win. I have read a few more entries of yours, and I'm hooked.

    Any girl who documents good-hairdays like you did, I adore! ;)


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