May 28, 2009

on myself, five years ago...

"It's an odd thing, visiting home and then returning home. I have two homes, really. I found it difficult to explain to my fellow passengers on the flight, who inquired about my travels. "Oh, yes. I was visiting home this week, and now am returning home to California." I kept getting all confused on the flight back, strangely enough. I kept having these moments of thinking I was going the wrong way or was in the wrong place. But, I got through it, apparently. So, now I'm back in sunny Southern California, and back to work. And back to freshly missing those I left behind."

- written by me, at 19.

21 comments :

  1. I do this all the time to. I refer to "home" as both my parent's house (that I visit and live at during the summer months) and also my current place of residence as home even though it doesn't necessarily feel like home in the same warm, comfortable sort of way.

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  2. I love reading old journal entries I wrote years ago. Sometimes I'll read something and not even believe I wrote it. But the feeling of having two (or more) places where your heart lives? I totally get that.

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  3. I still do this.....12 years after leaving "home". I don't know if I ever won't do that!

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  4. I do this too...I have two "homes" and I think I always will.

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  5. That sounds so familiar.... when I talk about home, I talk about Germany and at the same time, I refer to CA as my home now ALL THE TIME. It's really strange.

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  6. I hear you! Now my friends and family say to me, are you coming home-home, or home.

    home-home = parents, cracks me up!

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  7. Wow, it is always so fun to explore old journals and see how we have changed. I have kept a journal since I was five years old. I love reflecting and seeing how I have changed as a person through the years.

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  8. Wow, I'm 19 right now and off at college. It's funny how I've basically been saying those exact same words for the past few months!

    :))

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  9. First of all, you're very eloquent at 19! Second, I do the same thing - I currently LIVE in Minneapolis with three fab roomies, so that is home. My parents live in the suburbs, in the house I lived in for almost 10 years and where I went to high school. This is also home. I spent the 10 years prior to suburban Minnesota in Memphis, TN, so that is home, or at least it's now where I'm "from." And whenever I get down to Alabama to see my family, I call that home too.

    Home has many different meanings and places, huh?

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  10. Reading old entries is such a great insight as to where you were...but sometimes it can be interesting to see how some of those feelings haven't changed...

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  11. I always do this too. Home is both the place I grew and the place I share with my fiance. It will always be that way I am sure.

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  12. i felt that way when i went to college. but now that i'm back in so cal for good i know it's my home :)

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  13. I honestly believe that home is where the heart is. Wherever your heart goes and you love to be is where you can call yourself at home.

    I wish I could've kept myself writing in a journal when I was younger, so I could look back at what I may have been thinking when I was 19.

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  14. This is beautiful, because it's so true.

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  15. I totally know what you are feeling. I have three homes: Romania, where I was born and still have family, Virginia, where my mom lives, and New York, where I live with my hubby. Now, if only I could split myself into three, I would be truly happy and complete.

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  16. To hsve two homes and love them equally is a bliss :)

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  17. I love reflecting on old journal entries, too. I'm only eighteen now, so reading entries from when I was twelve and thirteen truly astounds me. I can't believe how much I've grown and matured in such a short amount of time.

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  18. Definitely understand that! Ever since I've moved to Florida, I've been in a bit of a "housing crisis."

    Both my parents house in NY and my place here felt so much like the definition of "home" but for entirely different reasons. And the weird thing was, when I went to visit my NY home, it wasn't even the one I grew up in as a child. Parents sold that while I was in college!

    Things changed last year and my dad sold the NY home and is living with my sister. I went home for Christmas and it hit really hard that I no longer had a home. Until I reminded myself that me + kitty = home :)

    **odd you would put this up now! My BFF from elementary school-high school just told me her childhood home is being sold today and we were talking about how hard it is when that happens. btw...been a mostly-silent lurker on your site for a while and just wanted to tell you that I think you---and your crafts---are fabulous!

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  19. I only live about 10 minutes from my first home, my parents house, so I can't really relate but "home" is a funny word. I call where I live now, with my boyfriend, home, but I still call my parent's house home too! :) I think many people have more than one home, whether they are close to each other or far away...

    but fun to read something you wrote 5 years ago! very insightful :)

    p.s. I left you an award on my blog!

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  20. I have said the same thing about "visiting home but returning home to California" so many times. Good to see that someone else put my feelings into words so eloquently!

    (I'm new to your blog and I look forward to reading more!)

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