on some analytical goodness...

Thanks to the goodness of Google Analytics, here are some recent searches that have brought people to my little corner of the internet:

1. swollen turtle feet (Are you talking about my pregnant sister's puffy turtle feet at the Hanson concert? Thought so.)

2. 14 year old taylor hanson (I know. I want him, too. And no, that does not make me a pedophile. At least, I don't think it does.)

3. daddy long leg spider dvds (That's just gross.)

4. something boring to help me sleep (Well, I'm not sure what to make of the fact that you spent a good, solid seven minutes reading my blog.)

5. dangers of making wine at home (Dude! You can make wine AT HOME? I'm going to google this myself. Watch out.)

6. ear plugs for loud neighbors (I totally get this.)

7. how to spell divey (Think you got this one right. And you must be referring to divey clubs, am I right?)

8. hidden camera pissing girls (Get away from my blog. Seriously. You have no soul.)

9. I go home and drink wine (Me, too! Call me! We could be BFF's waiting to happen!)

10. I hate my boring life (Um, maybe find a new hobby? Go on a vacation? Try sushi? Get a haircut? Make out with an adorable stranger? Well, maybe not that last one. That would suck if he were a serial killer or something. Yeah, let's change that: Make out with an adorable person you sort of know to the point of being sure that he's not a serial killer, or something to that effect.)

11. ingeniera lorena valladares (What.)

12. note left for me by shy girl (Okay, that's just adorable.)

13. pale girls wearing dresses (You'd better represent. I know I would, if I didn't happen to look like a twelve-year-old in most dresses.)

14. squished bug shoe (I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.)

15. ways to spy on parents with just binoculars (Well, that's a little creepy, is it not? I mean, if you're going to channel Harriet the Spy, then you should be creeping around your neighbors, not your parents. Get it right, kids.)

16. workout nylons (You have got to be kidding me. Have we not established the fact that nylons are the devil? And now you want to wear them while working out? Good luck.)

17. what to do before going for full physical with lady doctor (I get the distinct feeling that it was a guy who typed this one, and if I'm right, then I have no advice for you, sir. In fact, I feel a little bad for you. Just make sure you remember which room you came out of when you go to give your urine sample, so you don't end up walking around aimlessly with a cup of your own pee. Because that will just make things even more awkward. Trust me.)

18. I ate a bottle of advil (I'm sorry, but something about the phrasing of this totally made me laugh. I envision someone sitting with a spoon and a bowl and pouring the Advil in and eating it with milk like cereal. No? I could just be weird.)

19. I feel like I'll never find someone who gets me (Don't worry. You'll find someone. I promise. Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.)