December 3, 2008

on some analytical goodness...

Thanks to the goodness of Google Analytics, here are some recent searches that have brought people to my little corner of the internet:

1. swollen turtle feet (Are you talking about my pregnant sister's puffy turtle feet at the Hanson concert? Thought so.)

2. 14 year old taylor hanson (I know. I want him, too. And no, that does not make me a pedophile. At least, I don't think it does.)

3. daddy long leg spider dvds (That's just gross.)

4. something boring to help me sleep (Well, I'm not sure what to make of the fact that you spent a good, solid seven minutes reading my blog.)

5. dangers of making wine at home (Dude! You can make wine AT HOME? I'm going to google this myself. Watch out.)

6. ear plugs for loud neighbors (I totally get this.)

7. how to spell divey (Think you got this one right. And you must be referring to divey clubs, am I right?)

8. hidden camera pissing girls (Get away from my blog. Seriously. You have no soul.)

9. I go home and drink wine (Me, too! Call me! We could be BFF's waiting to happen!)

10. I hate my boring life (Um, maybe find a new hobby? Go on a vacation? Try sushi? Get a haircut? Make out with an adorable stranger? Well, maybe not that last one. That would suck if he were a serial killer or something. Yeah, let's change that: Make out with an adorable person you sort of know to the point of being sure that he's not a serial killer, or something to that effect.)

11. ingeniera lorena valladares (What.)

12. note left for me by shy girl (Okay, that's just adorable.)

13. pale girls wearing dresses (You'd better represent. I know I would, if I didn't happen to look like a twelve-year-old in most dresses.)

14. squished bug shoe (I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.)

15. ways to spy on parents with just binoculars (Well, that's a little creepy, is it not? I mean, if you're going to channel Harriet the Spy, then you should be creeping around your neighbors, not your parents. Get it right, kids.)

16. workout nylons (You have got to be kidding me. Have we not established the fact that nylons are the devil? And now you want to wear them while working out? Good luck.)

17. what to do before going for full physical with lady doctor (I get the distinct feeling that it was a guy who typed this one, and if I'm right, then I have no advice for you, sir. In fact, I feel a little bad for you. Just make sure you remember which room you came out of when you go to give your urine sample, so you don't end up walking around aimlessly with a cup of your own pee. Because that will just make things even more awkward. Trust me.)

18. I ate a bottle of advil (I'm sorry, but something about the phrasing of this totally made me laugh. I envision someone sitting with a spoon and a bowl and pouring the Advil in and eating it with milk like cereal. No? I could just be weird.)

19. I feel like I'll never find someone who gets me (Don't worry. You'll find someone. I promise. Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.)


  1. Ha now I totally want to do a post like this for my blog. Stealing your idea? Probably.

    And I also love the "note from cute girl," one.

  2. Wow! I thought I got some strange ones. The one about needing to read something boring to fall asleep is just too much!

  3. I never get things that I love the random things that people Google.

  4. I just laughed out loud reading this...I love the randomness that exists in this world. It makes me seem a bit more normal. :-)

  5. Wow! Mine are NEVER this good!

  6. I LOLed through this whole entry. I NEVER get interesting searches!! You're so lucky!

  7. My blog gets some weird hits, but unfortunatly nothing as exciting as yours!

    Usually it is just people trying to find a chatabox, or something similar. Some yours were so cute, and others were kind of weird. But… you take the good with the bad I guess!

  8. Oh, my. A lot of people out there I want to hug. And one or two I might shove.

  9. so hilarious, I loves it!!!! I think Google Analytics is the best invention ever, I know it has business applications but for us bloggers out there it is magic.

  10. I'm new to Analytics. Seriously took me 5 minutes to figure out how to find this info. And all I got was some person looking for a blog that I have on my blogroll. *sigh* I think I'm jealous of your exciting searches. Even the something boring to put said person asleep (because at least they stuck around for 7 minutes). lol.

  11. My best friend and her fiance are making wine in their basement. I have no idea how it works but I think it's the coolest thing ever.

    You should totally do it. :)

  12. I haven't logged into my google analytics in a loooooooong time. Something to do tonight! Wheeeeeeeeee!

  13. You are sooo funny. Thanks for the smile.

  14. workout nylons? i totally want those.

  15. These were too much fun! I'm pretty sure your google analytics are way cooler than mine. I need to go check mine out. I've been meaning to do a post like this forever!

    Love the turtle feet ... and the shy girl ... and the pale girl wearing dresses. YES! haha

  16. Your comments on the subjects are the best part. I want to hang out with you in real life, for real.

  17. Gosh I love analytics solely for this reason. Like WHY would people be searching for this stuff.. but then again I'm sure I've given other people some pretty interesting search results as well..

  18. You have some real treasures here!
    Oh, and, you made me lol so hard that my bruised lungs ached:

    " you don't end up walking around aimlessly with a cup of your own pee. Because that will just make things even more awkward. Trust me..."


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