October 18, 2008

on how earplugs are awesome...

Yesterday afternoon, I was surprised by a knock on our door. I opened it to see some guy that looked vaguely familiar.

guy: "Hi! I thought I'd reintroduce myself, I'm your neighbor."
me: (thinking about how we'd never actually met) "Oh, hi! Um, yeah, I don't think we've ever actually met. Nice to meet you, though!"
guy: "Yeah! Just wanted to let you know we're having a party for my girlfriend's birthday tonight, in case you want to stop by."
me: "Wow, thanks! We'll see if we can make it."
guy: "We're just going to have some cocktails, drinks, you know. And we didn't mention this to the landlord, because he can be weird about things sometimes, you know?"
me: "Yeah, of course. So, see you later!"

After I closed the door, Jay and I looked at each other and mentioned how nice it was for them to randomly invite us to a party. Then we paused, and I said, "You don't think that they just gave us a pity invite so we can't complain when they make a racket tonight, do you?" And the more we thought about it, the more suspicious we got. (For the record, the fact that even Jay was suspicious made me not feel like such a negative nancy. He normally lives in a world where nothing could possibly go wrong. A world that I rarely visit, apparently.) We realized that we wouldn't be able to go to said party anyway, because we both had to be up in the wee hours of the morning for work. I hoped that we were wrong about the whole making-a-racket thing.

Sure enough, when I was tucked into bed at the hour of 9:30PM, I was serenaded by the rhythmic pounding of a bass line from next door. I wanted to open my window, shake my fist at them and cry out, "I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!" But, I didn't. I just sat there and pondered my fate. Would I sleep? Could I sleep? And, seriously, can I just ask the question: Why is the default party music always something with an intense bass line? Would it hurt you to put on something slightly more calm? For instance, Enya. There's nothing that gets a party started like a little Book of Days. Guests will begin thoughtful conversation, you can light some incense, and your neighbors won't want to kill you.

Think about it.

The most irritating part was when I thought the music was done. It was as if the heavens opened up, and the good Lord said, "My child, no worries. I have silenced crazy town, AKA: your neighbors. Feel free to sleep now." And I said, "Thank you, Lord! You know, if it were possible, I'd totally hug you right now." To which He responded, "And I would hug you back." So, I was all happy as a clam until our neighbors finally managed to switch CD's or something.

I think I was being taught a lesson in patience or something, but I really wasn't having it.

When Jay came home, I was irritated to find out that he can apparently sleep through anything. I kept pestering him, asking him if he could hear it. Nope, couldn't hear it. THE BASS LINE. HOW CAN YOU NOT HEAR IT. He heard people talking, but no bass line. I turned off my noisemaker (a must-have for any light sleeper, by the way), and he still denied hearing anything else. Which is lame. So, I turned my noisemaker on full blast, and resorted to tearing the bedside table apart searching for earplugs, finally finding a pair. And after waking up this morning, despite the fact that the ear plugs dyed the inside of my ears a slight shade of pink, I must report that I slept better than I have in a long time. My eyes even snapped open right after 4:00AM and I was wide awake. I couldn't believe it.

I may have to turn to those things on a normal basis. The only bass line I could hear was the beating of my own heart, which was kind of creepy, but awesome. And I also had an intense dream in which I fell into a waterfall only to save myself by floating up, up and away with an umbrella in my hand. Not unlike Mary Poppins. Which is always a good time. I recommend it.

So, for the record, I forgive you, neighbors. I probably should have said something about having to wake up at the crack of dawn for work. I'm also sorry that I wished for Hunky Fireman Landlord to arrive home in the middle of the night and bust down your door and ruin your party. Because, for the record, he could totally do that. For the record.


  1. So tonight, you gotta crank the Enya.

    Peace - Rene

  2. Sorry, couldn't leave it alone.
    Baseline: standard.
    Bass line: deep basic beat.

  3. Your neighbors must be my old ones. Sorry we ran them off to the west coast.

    I hate pity invites. Just don't attempt. It's annoying.

    Glad you survived without a police incident.

    PS your word verification is about 18 letters long. Yeah, I love you enough to post this comment! HAHA!

  4. I *totally* feel your pain. Except we never even get the pity invite. So I just call the cops. And have about 10 BILLION pairs of ear plugs in my nightstand table. Of all different densities. I shake my fist at pounding basslines! *TARZAN YELL*

  5. Oh ya, and Hubby sleeps through it all too. Doesn't bother him one bit, which bothers ME even MORE! :o)

  6. That's cool, Mark. I'm a grammar nazi, too. Heehee.

    Consider it fixed. :) Thank you!

  7. Andrew snores and I worship earplugs. Story of my life.

  8. So I too am a light sleeper. My mom is too. She sleeps with earplugs every night b/c my dad snores. I cannot sleep with earplugs. They sorta freak me out. But I totally have a sound machine.

  9. It's not so much a pity invite as an obligatory one for a party they didn't want you complaining to the landlord about...and it also serves as a warning to you about the music that will probably ensue. It's the standard neighborly invite. ;)

    Glad you found earplugs though, it's the only thing.

  10. So I just had to tell you that you inspired me to VBlog, but then I did it and I couldn't get it off of my imovie to my blog. HELP!

  11. Hahaha! I about died when you said "Enya." If only people would be so kind. ;]

  12. Ugh!

    I had neighbours who used to have bollywood dance parties on Friday and Saturday nights until 2 am with literally 40+ people inside a 500 sq foot apartment. Our little walk up was all shouting and smoking and bollywood soundtracks...

    ...and I was one of those curmudgeons who called the landlord/police. Terrible!

  13. I don't know what bizarre book of etiquette recommends inviting your neighbors to a party that the hosts know will be loud...because they may think they're being nice polite neighbors, but really? They're just making me dislike them even more.

    Ugh. Glad you had the earplugs handy. =)

  14. I spent many a night in grad school staying awake to weekday parties in the apartments around me - it sucked!!! So, I relied on earplugs to be able to work two jobs and still make it to my classes.

    Some people!

  15. seriously you need to give them a taste of their own music ;)

  16. I tagged you chicky. check out my blog for details. Rock on!!

  17. I hate to admit it but in college we were always the ones pity-inviting our neighbours to our parties (then again they were like 40+ so we knew they wouldn't come)

    It didn't stop them calling the landlord and/or cops on our parties though...
    Just glad I don't live like that now.

  18. You are so funny! I hate pity invites just so you don't complain or worse, when you get invited just so someone can borrow something you own for the party. (that's a story for later)

  19. I'd so totally call the cops on them. Don't mess with my sleep.

  20. My neighbors have parties with surprising frequency on week nights....they just sit outside and drink and talk loudly....and stare at me when I take the dog out....

  21. Grrr.... your suspicions about the party came true! If I were you I might have called the cops -- cuz I'm a tattle-tell like that. ha. Ughghgh. I hate LOUD neighbors, partying types. Glad the headphones worked!


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