September 28, 2008

on my review of German cinema...

I'm not a fan of German cinema. This is true.

I went to see a movie with Jay on Friday night, considering he's all into the film festival thing again this year and is attempting to find new films to feature for his German spotlight. He gets so excited about these films. I go, because I love it when he invites me places (it makes me feel cool) and I like taking part in the things that bring a childlike joy to his face. Having said that, I think it's more fun for him than it is for me. (Yes, I have a German last name. No, I don't know German. Except what I've learned from watching Beerfest. I'm not proud of this, what that's the way it's going to be. And Jay knows enough German for the both of us, anyway, so I'm okay with it.)

Anyhow, I'd love to tell you what movie we saw, but considering I have absolutely no recollection of even one word of the title, I'll just leave that one be.

So, here's the thing. Apparently Germans make movies with copious amounts of the following things:

1. Smoking. Apparently it doesn't matter if you are driving your car, have been in a jail cell for the last seven years, are taking a bubble bath with some dude you just met (see point #2), are literally dying and will not be alive five minutes from now, are at the beach with your children, or are shooting someone in the face (see point #3). You will have a cigarette in your hand. And you will be smoking it like there is no tomorrow; as though it is your oxygen. Lung cancer? What?

2. Nudity. And I'm not talking a nip-slip here and there. I'm talking full frontal, no holds barred, are-my-eyes-bleeding-because-I-kind-of-think-my-eyes-are-bleeding nudity. The opening credits had hardly ended before the shot opened to a happy family enjoying a nice afternoon on a nude beach. I mean, they all seemed happy enough. I just know that I wouldn't be that happy if my parents were frolicking through the waves without a lick of clothing. I don't know if I could ever recover from that. But, again, perhaps that is just me.

3. Violence. I don't think you can comprehend the brutality I witnessed in those two hours. I kept hiding my eyes as people were being beaten to a pulp with metal batons, wondering why all the Germans surrounding me were watching the movie with such rapt attention. I wanted to nudge the guy next to me and whisper, "Um, sir? Question for you. How do you say 'I'm going to puke my brains out if I see one more person get shot in the face' in German? Because I'm going to puke my brains out if I see one more person get shot in the face."

Having said all that, I actually did enjoy the movie. (Aside from the slightly upsetting elements that I discussed. See? I can appreciate foreign films! I can! I'm well-rounded, I tell you! Well-rounded!) It was a very well done film, very good acting and all of that; it was set during the Vietnam war, in Germany. It focused on a group of young people protesting the war and how they went from peaceful demonstration to extreme violence throughout the years - which, of course, was slightly ironic considering they were protesting violence to begin with. It was very thought-provoking. Jay and I had some good discussion after the film, which I always enjoy.

After the movie was done, I asked Jay if Germans ever make chick flicks. I'm pretty sure he judged me.


  1. Lol. Im glad you enjoyed it though.

    And I dont think it's just a German thing to smoke ALL the time in EVERY SINGLE scene. I've seen it in american movies (though not as much) and in other non american movies.

  2. LOLOL, you make me laugh and laugh! "I'm pretty sure he judged me." I LOVE that, b/c that is SO like men! !

  3. Fave German movie: Lola Rennt... (Run Lola Run), however I have seen a bunch I like... but all their war related movies are icky except for Goodbye Lenin.

    The Brits own chick flicks. I mean, can you beat Love Actually, The Holiday, or Bridget Jones... CAN YOU?! I think not.

  4. They actually produce chick flicks but they are usually just TV productions and never make it to the movie theater. :) German's are all about movies about the Cold War and WWII.

  5. this is hilarious. I, for one, have never seen a German movie, and now I don't know if I ever will... :)

  6. Haha! A german chick flick would definitely be interesting. Though I must agree foreign films are much different than American ones, and they do love them some lung cancer :)

  7. "Keinohrhasen" was a huge hit in Germany last year and it is a chick flick and there was also "Warum Männer nicht zuhören und Frauen schlecht einparken" this year (a mouthful, I know).

    There are plenty of chick flicks in Germany, they just don't make it across.


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