August 23, 2008

on becoming twenty-four...

Haven't changed much, really.

I'm having serious issues understanding how I'm actually turning twenty-four in two days. I know I've said it before, but in some respects I feel that I'll be perpetually seventeen. I don't remember ever feeling older after that. Things have changed, the scenery has changed, I've changed in some ways, but I still can't believe that I'm any older. Maybe nobody really ever does. I told my mom that there's no way I feel twenty-four, and she laughed, saying, "Well, do you think I feel forty-seven?"

I guess that perhaps we never do feel our ages.

And although I have no doubts that twenty-four is going to be just fine and dandy, there is a part of me who wouldn't mind going back, just for a fraction of time. Back to the days of My Little Ponies and listening to Raffi records with my sisters. Building nests with long grass in the back yard so we could pretend we were birds. Watching Cinderella and genuinely believing that a prince would fall in love with me someday. Eating popsicles in the summer, not caring that our entire face became a sticky, purple mess. Thinking a new coloring book was pretty much the greatest thing in all of creation. When my world was ruled by make believe, and it was okay to just be completely, 100% yourself - always living in the moment. Ruled by a whim.

It sounds appealing to me, anyway. If only just for a while. Just to capture those feelings one more time.


  1. Oh sweetie...just wait until you turn 29 and think, "Oh. My. God. How is it possible that I'll be 30 next year? Thirty!"

    'Cause that's what's been going through my mind since the end of June.

    Enjoy 24 - and Happy Early Birthday :)

  2. I'm in the same boat as browneyedgirlie... 29 is looming ahead for me (trying not to panic!!! Seriously). But I know how you feel! I think I've felt the way you are talking about since I turned 21...where does the time go?

  3. I know exactly how you feel! Sometimes I wish I could just go back to high school for a week - life was so simple then. No job, no responsibilities, just looking forward to the weekend! Funny, my life is so full of so many wonderful things I wouldn't trade, but I still long for simpler times every now and then.

    And when you mentioned coloring books it reminded me of one of my favorites from childhood - Lisa Frank!!

  4. That we never really FEEL older, birthday after birthday, is a testimony to the eternalness of the spirit. Life events happen, year after year, and we feel the same age no matter what. We were made for another world, and in our deeps, we know it.

  5. Aw, what a cutie you were when you were little!

    I think 24 has a lovely ring to it, but I can definitely understand the nostalgia you are feeling. I'm about to be 21 & I can't believe how much time has passed. Even worse when I see how big my little sister is getting (she'll be 20 next year) & how old my parents are getting...

    When I see those things, it scares me & I wish I could stop time for a little, so that my emotions catch up. Sigh.

    Oh & I totally second Lisa Frank. I actually thought she was a real person & I wanted to BE her. ;]

  6. Happy Early Birthday!

    I know exactly how you feel - I just transitioned into my "late twenties" and am starting to freakout - when did I become an adult?! can I go back to being care-free and responsibility free?! I love my life now - but a vacation back to highschool or younger would be nice....

  7. I felt that way when I turned 24 too. Mostly though, I had just so thoroughly enjoyed being 23 that I thought 24 couldn't possibly be as fantastic.

    It's really fun though, 24 has been a good year so far! :)

  8. Thinking a new coloring book was pretty much the greatest thing in all of creation. I remember feeling exactly the same way.

    happy (pre) birthday!!!

  9. You can still do all those things. And you should!

  10. Happy Almost birthday! I just went through some of the same feelings, but I just turned 27. Definitely enjoy 24- that was a fantastic year for me.

  11. What a sweet post. I definitely don't feel 24 either, but it's not bad. Happy early Birthday!

  12. I'm kind of the opposite. I love getting older and all the new exciting things that come with it. And while I may miss the blissful days spent as a child, I love watching my cousins grow and experience those things that I remember as a child. I hope 24 holds many exciting new experiences for you :)

  13. I know exactly how you feel, I'm just a little ways behind you.

    Happy Birthday!

  14. Happy birthday to you!

    It would be great to go back to that age, But if you did it would be a world of computer games, Brats dolls, High School Musical and Xbox games.

    I loved the old disney movies! They made me feel like a princess just watching them. Not as many movies these days can do that.

  15. Happy early birthday, girlie! Oh, what a cute baby picture! Adorable! I know exactly what you mean about the whole turning 24 thing -- when I was about to turn 24 in April I freaked out a little bit too. I dunno why but 24 suddenly seemed old! 23 had such a nice ring to it ... but 24 has been pretty AOK so far! I wonder if I'm really going to freak out at 25! Oh man. I say we get together and chill out with some color books! Little pony color books!

  16. Eeepp! That will be me next year! I always wish I could capture past memories.
    I hope you had a truly wonderful, awesome day!!xo

  17. Happy Birthday!

    I feel like, what I'm not 19 anymore?

  18. so is today your birthday then? HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! :) 24-- that's how old I am, and you're right, I still have to remind myself sometimes, because I feel exactly like a silly teenager sometimes, not an aging wife and mother of soon-to-be-three kids!! lol. But, like Steph, I also love getting older too, and secretly can't wait to be 60 and wear hats and garden all day long. :)
    I hope you have a fabulous birthday, and an even more wonderful twenty-fourth year!

  19. Okay...delurking! Happy Birthday!

    And my favorite icing? Definitely home made cream cheese from Neufchatel cheese with some powdered sugar and pure vanilla. I don't even want the cupcake, just the icing. Gross, right?


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