July 21, 2008

on reaching a goal...

Nothing feels better than going into Target for a few items, and walking out with a pair of bermudas in a size that you haven't been able to fit over your bum into nearly two years.

Trust me on this: it's magical.

I was browsing Target this morning for some new tops to bring on our upcoming trip. (I also needed to pick up a birthday gift for my youngest sister, but was fresh out of ideas for a seven-year-old. So many of the toys and dolls are quite tacky and disappointing these days. Yes, my future children will be raised in a cardboard box to keep them away from this whole Bratz doll culture we all live in.) Anyway, as far as clothes are concerned, I found an armload of items to try (especially some adorable tanks, which I basically live in), and even grabbed these size 2 bermudas to try on. I figure, what the heck. If they don't fit, I'll just experience the usual dressing-room-angst and move on with my day.

I walk up to the dressing room attendant, and immediately remembered why I hate my local Target store. The girl is sitting there, and doesn't look up when I walk up to the desk. I wait for her to look, because I'm always slightly bothered when they don't sense my presence. Call me picky, but I'm expected to do it at my job, and therefore I am slightly obsessive when it comes to customer service, at times. The girl finally looks up, and I ask her if I'm only allowed to bring in six items. She says yes, gives me a number, and then motions for me to put the extra clothes on the counter in front of her. I'm a wee bit wary, because every time I've done this in the past, the clothes are mysteriously gone when I come back for them. EVERY SINGLE TIME. Still, I set them down, give a girl a look that I'm hoping conveys my need for these clothes to be here when I return, and meander over to my dressing room.

A few of the shirts I try on are basically maternity shirts, because apparently everyone shopping in the junior's section these days wants to wear a cotton sack that does absolutely nothing to flatter their figure. Seriously. I did find a couple tanks to buy (the gray one in the photo was only $5!) and got around to trying on the bermudas that had been taunting me. I tried them on and was all, "What." Or maybe I said, "By the beard of Zeus." (I'm not exactly sure.) They fit! They fit me well! They didn't even give me a muffin-top! I could button them and breathe! Dude. I was pumped. I may have done a happy dance in the dressing room, even. (A slight variation of my pose in the center photo. Don't judge me.)

I went back out to switch out a few of the cotton sacks for the other clothes I had waiting at the desk, and lo and behold, they were gone. I walked up to the girl, and I think held back my frustration quite well.

me: "Um, hi."
girl: (looking up as if seeing me for the first time.) "Hi! Three items?"
me: (thinking: Do you seriously not remember seeing me five minutes ago? Or notice that I just walked up to you FROM THE DRESSING ROOMS?) "Actually, I just set a few things here to try on? Are they...around?"
girl: "What? Oh. Huh."
me: (blink.)
girl: (blink.)
me: (raises eyebrows.)
girl: (looks around.) "Weeellll, what did they look like?"
me: (wondering why I'm expected to remember details of clothes I have not yet worn or purchased.) "Some jeans, a couple shirts? Maybe?"
girl: (digging through cart next to the bin.) "These?"
me: "Yeah. Those. Thanks. Bye."

I did not let her apparent lack of attention to anything in the entire world bother me, however. Because I found some adorable clothes that I was about to buy, and experienced a serious ego boost in the process!

I haven't fit comfortably into a size 2 in about two years. After we arrived home from our honeymoon, I remember stepping on the scale (not a good idea after an entire week of gluttony) and seeing the glaring numbers: 137. I am in no way saying that 137 is obese, but you know how your body is when you're at your best. And you know how your body is when you're at your worst. (Keep in mind that I'm 5'3" and petite. Usually.) I was looking a little soft around the edges at 137. And not feeling good about myself. However, I sort of let it slide because I have a habit of being a wee bit stubborn and lazy.

It wasn't until I had to start shoving clothes that I adored into the corners of my dresser (so as not to remind myself that they no longer fit properly), that I started to really take action. You all know the story: small steps to a healthier diet, work-outs a few times a week, finally beginning this whole running endeavor, etc. And it feels good to see the pay-off. Granted, it took alot longer to see results because I really took it slow, but I'm glad that I've stuck with something that I will be able to stick with long term. Whenever I hear of people on these crazy diets or workout plans, I want to shake them. Because they are setting themselves up for failure. I tell you, if a girl like me has been able to do it in my own little way, then anyone can. I'm finally down to 120. And so, so happy. Part of me hopes that I can get down to 115 (what I weighed when I first moved to California), but I'm not going to pressure myself anymore.

I know I can be happy with where I am now.

That said, I figured that I could splurge on a $17 pair of bermudas to reward myself on reaching a personal goal. (Perhaps my next goal could possibly have to do with not being so cheap. That's a thought.)

Oh, and one more story. I find it slightly upsetting that just when you're feeling like a complete goddess, something really brings you back to reality. When I got to work today, I changed into a fresh shirt before starting. I went outside to greet some customers, happy and cheerful and pretty much a smiling ball of sunshine. Afterwards, as I was going to walk back inside, one of my male coworkers looked at me all funny and pulled me aside.

coworker: "Um, the back of your skirt. It's open."
me: "I'm sorry, what? OH. MY GOSH."
coworker: (walks away, apparently awkward about situation.)
me: (thankful that the only thing showing was the back of my shirt.) "Thanks for telling me?"

Yes. Apparently I fail at dressing myself. True story.


  1. That is so awesome! You have truly inspired me to keep up the working out. Now if only I could change my diet. I am currently your "home from the honeymoon weight" and I would love to be at my wedding weight, which is much closer to your current weight.

    Thanks for keeping us all motivated. You look AWESOME in those new shorts!

  2. yay! I am one of those that go on crazy diets. I'm super determined one week, and really lazy another. I need to change the way I think and take it slow. Thanks for the motivation :)

  3. You look amazing! So tiny!
    And I'm actually scarily similar to you- my average weight and size was a 2-4, until I gained, to, oddly enough, 137. I've been slowly trying to work my way back down to where I was, and you've definitely inspired me to work a bit harder!

  4. Congrats! You look so freakin tiny and cute! The shorts look adorable on you. You should be so proud of yourself! Man, I am jealous!!! Hmm... I guess going to the baseball game and getting all those yummy foods hasn't really helped me, huh?! I must come back and look at your page for inspiration!

  5. Yay for reaching your goal! I can totally relate! I'm 5'3 too and a couple of years ago I found myself around 138, I didn't realize I had gained all that weight but looking back at pictures I can't believe it was me! I started tae kwon do and I've finally gotten down to 123, I'm so much happier and healthier than I was.

    Love you outfit :)

  6. congrats girlie!!!!

    the middle pic is adorable!

    and i completely agree with on the whole bratz obsession...i shake my head everytime i see one.

  7. Lookin' great! I have such bad body image issues that I can't gauge what my own body looks like, you know? As long as we're happy and healthy, that's all that matters, though.

  8. congrats! (though i appreciate the maternity-juniors clothes at target and other stores right now because i can fit into normal stylish clothes INSTEAD of having to stick it out only in maternity duds -- did I mention I'm 8 months pregnant?)

    i am SO looking forward to working out after delivering this baby. i am the largest i've ever been and i've always been the small, thin girl.

    (by the way, i'm delurking)

  9. I'm a stickler for good customer service too (I was a manager at WetSeal for 2yrs.) - and I've been known to walk out of a store if I'm not acknowledged. The shorts are way cute and I'm very jealous of the flatness of your tummy...

  10. ahhh, girl! you look wonderful! i love that feeling, for real. i was so happy when i slid into my 6's at the beginning of spring, i heard angels singing, i swear. i have never, ever been this small.

    i'm pretty short too, only about 5'2, and it took me a while to get to 125 (finally) because i amde small changes that i could live with instead of huge, drastic changes i knew were going to bring me down. the biggest thing? i park my car in the FARTHEST parking spot and walk rather than park up front. and i make an effort to run every other day at least 3-4 miles, but that took some working up to (as i'm sure you know.).

    congrats on finally seeing all of your work pay off. you're amazing and now you've got the body to match!


  11. K, that is awesome! And I really did laugh out loud when you were telling the dressing room story! It's so true!

    confession: I lie about how many items I have because I know they'll put the ones I leave out front back!

  12. Wow, you're looking great! Congratulations on finding a plan that you can do long-term. That's something I need to do. My ideal weight is about 210-215 (I'm 6'4") and I've crept up to about 230.

  13. you look adorable! congrats on the size 2!!!! i know its silly for us to be so happy about a number like that (its more important to be healthy, fit, bla bla bla), but dude, i would be on top of the world too! what girl wouldnt?

    aaaand your wardrobe malfunction got me thinking.. and i may be writing an entire blog post about one of mine recently- it will make you feel better about your life ;)

  14. ah :)
    like i said in my last comment, i'm so happy for you. so, so happy for you. not because you're a size two now, though that is absolutely wonderful, but because you have that "i am a goddess" feeling when you look in the mirror. and because you did it by following a plan you can do long term, not a crash diet that will end next week.
    good job kerri! ox

  15. You look fantastic! congratulations!

  16. You do look great :) I've been back in work out mode for a little over a month now. Haven't seen a big change yet... kinda disappointing, but I'm still hopeful. What is it about that first newlywed year that you pack on the lbs?!

    Hoping to be where you are soon!

  17. You look fantastic! I really wish I enjoyed running -- I always admired people who get up and do that for fun. I was known as the girl who ran the 12 minute mile in high school... yeahhhh.

    Ohh my, and the customer service thing is one of my highest ranked pet peeves. I hate when I, as the customer, am the first one to say something. It irks me so.

    Oh, and if anything is going to cure your baby fever, it's going to be knowing that I have already gone from 132 to 152 in 5 1/2 months. Yeah yeah yeah, they all say it's good for the baby and all that, but I think it's a load. Am I a terrible 'mom' for wanting this baby out so I can lose all this weight already? haha.

  18. You look awesome! Congrats to you for sticking to it and not pressuring yourself. That truly is inspiring. People fail all too often from putting pressure on themselves, me included. You look adorable and it's always nice to reward yourself.

  19. you are so cute. :) Yay, you!! That's fantastic!! I know just how you feel-- it's awful knowing your body could and has been so much better, and then so wonderful when you reach that point again. I feel my best when I'm in a size 2 at about 110 pounds. It's healthy for me, since I'm so short. I haven't been down there in a while, and of course, now I won't be for quite some time (hello, 9 months of wait gain, eeek), but I will for sure be setting my goals once this little one if born! And you shall be my inspiration. :)

  20. Wow! Go you! I've never been that tiny of a person. I am in height but never in weight. my lowest was around 132 after the honeymoon (we walked all over Paris and I swear I lost at least two extra pounds on the honeymoon), and now sadly I'm back up there to almost college weight (not all the way, thank goodness), but on a downward slope now that I have my life back in balance. I do really want to get down to around where you are right now. That is my ideal, but like you I am going to take it slow.

    You seem to have a great attitude about your body though. I had a post in mind to write about regarding my body image, but that may wait a little bit.

    p.s. I hate brats dolls too.

  21. You're kicking ass. Ideally, I'd like to get down to 110 or 115 (I have no boobs, so I'm allowed to weigh that little.) But, since I currently have no scale, I have no idea how far off I am! I know that, lately, I haven't been as healthy as I need to be, though. You're inspiring!

  22. You look amazing! I went on a Target shopping trip yesterday & bought some super cute things. :]

  23. I looked up completely adoreable in the dictionary and THERE WAS YOUR PICTURE!

  24. what a cute outfit! and what a great accomplishment, congrats! :)

  25. okay, you're adorable!


    this blog totally needs more cowbell!

  26. Congratulations on reaching your goal; size 2 is definitely in the skinny zone! I agree with you - slow and steady is probably the best weight loss plan. It's taken me more than 2 years, but I'm down 65 pounds by doing the same things as you: eating less but healthier, working out but not obsessively and I started jogging, too. I probably should do more weight training to tone more.

    I'm glad Janet linked to you! I'm enjoying your blog.

  27. Yahoooooo for the changing-room happy dance!!

    Congrats on being that skinny. I'm on the same health kick right now - have been for a couple of weeks. Down 4lbs, but LOADS more to go! It's tough, but it's so worth it!

  28. Great job! I'm totally using you as my inspiration to get back on my 4 days a week exercise wagon.

  29. ok, seriously, you need to share your secrets with me because whatever i'm doing is really not working.

  30. Those bermudas look so good on you! I tried them on and I wasn't as successful.

    Congrats on the healthy lifestyle.

    BTW I am delurking...and we have a similar blog title. :)



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