April 25, 2008

on tears and The Australian Peach...

Do you ever have one of those days where you just need to cry?

All day I've been crappy, and it's like I have a whole sea of tears behind my eyelids that are refusing to just let loose. Sometimes I just need a good cry. And at this point, I'm not sure what it's going to take to just get it over with. I kind of need to go watch the last hour of Titanic or the music video for Martina McBride's Concrete Angels or something. (Don't say I didn't warn you about that music video. The worst is when you hear the song in the car right before you get to work, because then you walk in looking like you ran over your own cat on the way there or something.) At this point, I'd even take a really touching life insurance commercial or something of that nature. Gah. I just need to bawl it out.

I really wish I had more married friends. There are a bunch of things that have been frustrating me, and all I want to do right now is sit down with a bunch of married girlfriends and have a glass of wine and just feel understood. Honestly, there are some things that you only understand when you're married. And it's tough to not have any friends near me who are at my same stage in life. I think it would help me feel more normal. If that makes any sense.


Today should have been a better day, but it wasn't, really. I drove out to spend most of the day with Jay at the film festival he's been interning for. First of all, the sons of biscuits at MapQuest gave me the worst directions EVER to get there (they pretty much invented a road as far as I could tell) and so it took me twice as long to get there because I kept getting lost. And we all know how I get when I'm lost. It ain't pretty.

Once I got there, I met up with Jay and once of his friends. Since Jay is one of the programmers, he had several films he had to introduce and host the Q&A portion after the film. It was fun seeing him up there in front of everyone. He has such confidence. We watched a documentary, which was interesting and a wee bit controversial. Then we only had a little time before the next film he had to introduce, so we enjoyed a couple of delicious calzones from Zpizza. Jay had to meet with the lead actress of the next film, so he left me to finish my calzone by myself.

When I went back to the theatre, Jay was there with the actress. Um, yeah. He had jokingly told me last week that she was some old lady. However, there she was: this gorgeous, blonde, Australian with a dazzling smile. A total peach. I wanted to punch Jay in the face, but she was so sweet and adorable that I almost wanted to date her, so I couldn't really be mad at the guy. And at least he remembered to introduce me to her as I was standing there awkwardly. "Oh, yeah. This is my wife!" (Introductions aren't his strongest suit. Although, I suppose they aren't mine, either.)

We watched the film, which was a seriously gritty movie about a couple of drug addicts who finally reach their demise. It was actually very well done and quite gripping. Although, the whole time I couldn't believe that the little blonde Australian peach was this cracked out brunette in the film. She did a seriously amazing job. Except for the awkward parts where she showed her nips, because then after the film I had to play a little game called: I'm Going To Pretend My Husband Hasn't Seen Your Nips. Which is always a good time.

But when we were small-talking for a few minutes after the film, and we had an awkward pause, she said she liked my purse. And I figure that it was sort of her offering an apology. That's how us females handle things, clear the air. All you have to do is compliment the other person's lipgloss or shoes and then it's sort of like clearing up any animosity without having to say exactly what you're thinking. So when she said, "Cute purse!" I'm sure she actually meant, "If I had any idea your husband was going to see my nips, I would have covered them up. Please accept my apology, and I'm sure yours are better anyway."

So, it worked out.


  1. Oh girly, you crack me up. Even with you being all unhappy your still funny.

    I know the alone feeling. We moved 8 months ago to the middle of NOWHERE, and I still don't really know anyone... and I don't relate too well to the people I do know. I'm a young mama (I just turned 26) and I've got 3 little ones, and there's no one quite like that around me. And definitely no one to talk about the hubby with:-(

    Take Care!!

  2. okay so i'm totally feeling you on the whole "concrete angels" thing, but you know what does it for me EVERYTIME? fircken "dont take the girl" by time mcgraw. i was like, ten years old when that came out and i cried like a baby then... nothings changed much.

    i get in funks like that too though, i mean... different reasons, but i know what it's like to just walk around with this choked up feeling and just need to get it out. i hope everything is looking up chica! xoxoxox

  3. Just another chiming in, with Yeah! Good cries are totally important. Once you start, you think of a million reasons why you should be crying.

    I wish I knew more young married girls. My coworkers and I are friends, but it's just...different. You're so right.

    Hope today is awesome and free of cute girl's nips!! :)

  4. I don't have any brilliant words of wisdom to share, but I wanted to at least say something. I feel ya on the crying thing, and the marriage is hard thing, and the oh my gosh my husband works with a total cutie thing, and the why is it so dang hard to find TRUE married friends thing, all of those occur right here in my very own house too! So know that you are not alone and chances are any married girls that you meet might be going through these same problems, the trick (and scary part) is just to make the first move to talk!

  5. i've got no good married stories, because i'm not...

    but if you need another video to cry to, I've got one of those:

    Sara Beth--Rascal Flatts.

    and don't say I didn't warn you.

  6. All you have to do is compliment the other person's lipgloss or shoes and then it's sort of like clearing up any animosity without having to say exactly what you're thinking. um BINGO!! how tragically funny is that for the female race?!

    I just had to finally leave you a comment because i just enjoy your blog way too much!

  7. I hear ya on the good cry. And I just need to say one thing: You're waaaay prettier than her. :-)

  8. GREAT post. I loved it!
    I'm sorry you felt like a good cry-- I hope you got it all out. Maybe I'm weird but sometimes I like crying.

    And that sux about not having married friends-- I don't have any other happy married friends either. Too bad we didn't live in the same city-- I'd like to be your married friend! :)

    Ugh- I get lost all the time, and when I do I've been known to freak out and start crying. Ha. I laugh cuz it is kinda funny.

    I love your story about the peach! The whole "Im going to pretend my husband hasn't seem your nips"-- too funny. Ah! I can only imagine. so awkward! that's so funny she complimented your purse! So true about the whole, that's how girls handle things. Hilarious.

    Hope your weekend gets better!

  9. http://www.teavana.com/

  10. Hey, I tagged you for a meme over at my blog - check it out!

    (Also? I was thinking about this post again the other day. Because whyyyy oh whyyyy is it so hard to invite us places? Just because we're married doesn't mean we can't have fun, people!)

  11. She may as well have been some old lady, because he LOVES YOU.

  12. I misread that Concrete Angels at first and thought of how hard I cry every time I watch the movie City of Angels with Meg Ryan.

    I totally feel you on the needing to cry thing. Sometimes it's easier to cry at a song or a movie because then you don't feel as much like you are just wallowing in your own self-pity.

    And you are not alone on the needing married friends area either. Well we could just use any friends at this point. But a whole year where the only time I get to spend time with friends is by driving four hours = no fun.

    Hope this week goes better! Sounds like quite a few people had a rough week.

  13. I had a "need to cry" day on Saturday...so I watched the last episode of John Adams...I bawled like a baby when Abigal passed...

    Nonetheless, I know what you mean about the married friends thing...I have married friends but they're all pregnant (seriously everyone I know is pregnant)...so I feel like the odd-man-out now...too bad you don't live closer...

  14. I thought I left a comment on this! I can't believe i missed it. I just wanted to say how much I loved this post. So honest and perfect. I wish i had more real life married friends too!

  15. I CANNOT watch the Concrete Angels video without crying. Seriously.

  16. I'm pretty sure I'm the only female in existence who does not understand the concept of a "good" cry. There's no such thing, crying feels horrible and I'm so glad I'm the type who only cries maybe 2 or 3 times a year.


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