April 2, 2008

on myself, four years ago...

"It's so odd how life changes. I always thought that 19 was so old. My mom was married when she was 19, maybe that's why it always seemed to be that sparkling, important year. I'm going to be 20 in August, and it sounds younger and younger, the older I get. And not a bad type of younger, not an inhibiting type of younger. But it's more like a beginning type of younger -- thinking of all the years I hopefully have ahead of myself. When you're 16 you sit there thinking to yourself how you can't wait until you're not a teen anymore, but then you finally reach that point and it's not like you feel any different. All you've done was pass a few years of school, made and lost friends, had your heart broken a couple of times and hopefully just begun to define yourself. What is it that we want to rush ahead to? I think I've reached the point in my life where I'm never going to feel any older. Wiser, maybe. But not older."

- written by me, at 19.


  1. you were a very smart 19 year old. i don't ever want to feel any older than i do now... 23 is good. xo

  2. wiser indeed.

    my mom scanned a bunch of old photos for me tonight for a group slideshow we're doing in my jazz choir, and i said to her, "wow, i don't remember looking like such a KID."

    but it's true. you get to a point where you may start to look different, but feeling different comes with much more time than a few little years.

  3. and i love how under your "listening to" you have hanson. you rock.

  4. wise beyond your years, haha.

  5. was this in an old journal? i think it's so interesting to look back and see how you looked at things. oh, love your new header - cute!

  6. I just needed to tell you that I heart your blog.

    You are going in the reader!

  7. Rachel: I agree, twenty-three rocks. I'm just find staying here for the next few years. And heck, yeah, I'm listening to Hanson! I love their song "Georgia" off of one of the more recent albums. I love that you share my appreciation. :)

    Courtney: I know! It's crazy, looking back only four or five years, and realizing just how different you looked. Because it doesn't feel like that long ago, really...

    Katelyn: I was dramatic back then. Very. You should read some of the romantic notions I wrote about in my old journals. It makes me laugh!

    Jenny: Yes, my first online journal was started when I was 16, I believe. Part of me wishes they were all on paper, but what can I do? It is so fun to be able to go back several years and see what I was thinking that exact day.

    Tipp: Why, thank you for the kind words! And thank you for reading! I'll be checking yours out shortly... :)


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