February 24, 2008

on my claim to fame...

So, the husband has once again commissioned me as his resident go-to actress for his film class projects. Considering that I did theatre for four years, you'd think I'd be all but begging him to put me in his projects. Yeah, no. I'm sorry, but musical theatre doesn't exactly prepare one for the projects of a film student. And you should have seen me in the last project he had to make for his most recent film class.

Indeed, my acting skills were up to par with a Bryman College commercial. (If you don't know what that is, well then good for you.) All I hear in my head while he is most likely zooming in on my face with his camera, are the voices of past directors saying, "Give me MORE! MORE! I need BIG! If I WANT you to tone it down, I will TELL YOU!" So, the entire time I'm trying to find the fine balance between a normal facial expression and the only acting I know, which is entirely too flamboyant.

I can't win.

The entire time, it's like a battle of wills with us.

Jay: "Okay, now I'm going to get you bike riding."
me: "Well, what am I supposed to be doing?"
Jay: "Bike riding."
me: "No, I mean, what's my character? What am I supposed to be thinking?"
Jay: (blinks.) "Just ride your bike. And smile."
me: (thinking: "How would Scarlett Johansson pull this one off? Hmmm...")
me: "You know, you're a bad director."
Jay: "You're a bad actress."
me: "I guess that's fair."

I'm sorry, but I feel like a heel when I have a grin on my face while riding my bike, presumably alone. But what can you do? He kept trying to get this shot of me riding next to the pond through this flock of birds/ducks/what-have-you, but I don't think it ever worked out to capture what he had in his head. First of all, I kept having this vision of being completely drenched in bird poo which is slightly disturbing, and second of all, the freaking pigeons apparently had no sense of impending danger as I wheeled towards their tiny little heads, because they certainly didn't feel like moving until the last possible minute. Cue the screaming.

Anyway, the rest of his project included shots of me running ("Jay, I don't run. I jog.") and running some more ("I'm trying to be Scarlett Johansson here! huff. puff. Leave me alone!") and finally, crafting away at the kitchen table - after he completely destroyed the layout of our entire living room/dining room, in order to get the right shot.

me: "What. Are. You. Doing."
Jay: "Messing up the living room so you can't sleep tonight."
me: "You know me so well."

I guess it's fun to be able to be involved in his projects, but I wish I could be more laid back about it. He really does have a good vision; it's always entertaining to see him get so intense about the perfect angle, the perfect shot. It'll be interesting to see how this project works out.

If you're lucky, I'll post it and then you can marvel at my abilities. Or lack thereof.


  1. You know... the fact that he chooses you to be in his projects is a roundabout way of saying he enjoys spending time with you, which seems to be something you crave as well with your busy conflicting scedules. :)

  2. hahah i'm picturing you riding a big with a huge goofy grin!

  3. I'm a musical theatre nut, too. And yes, I've tried to do film... but it just does NOT work. I don't think musical theatre people can make that transition very well...

  4. sounds like a fun project...you should definitely post the final result. We will start calling you Scarlett :)

  5. kilibri: Good point, actually. I was re-watching the video footage, and listening to us banter back and forth, and it made me happy to see. I guess I shouldn't complain about him always choosing me.

    jamie lovely: You have no idea. You should have seen me when he told me to wave to some random little asian woman who was gardening in her front yard, and act like I knew her. Yeah, NOT HAPPENING.

    renee: Hurrah for musical theatre! I think I'd rather have singing and tap dancing, anyway, right? Right.

    janet: Just wait until you see the video, then you'll be all, "You ain't no Scarlett! You defile the name of Scarlett, and bring dishonor to her acting skillz!" Or, something like that. :) But I wouldn't object to the nickname, personally. Heehee.


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