January 16, 2008

on b-a-n-a-n-a-s...

Last night I got home pretty late after work. I was once again faced with either automatically taking the garage since I had the clicker, or being a nice, selfless wife and looking for a spot on the street so the hubs wouldn't be murdered by bums while walking to the apartment from a far, far away parking spot at 3AM. And, hey, I can be a nice, selfless wife. And, hey, I was in no real rush. And, hey, I had some new songs downloaded on my iPod and I didn't really want to stop listening to my music, anyway. So, I went with the latter.

I drove and drove and drove. Back and forth, to and fro - you know the drill.

Finally I spotted a Prius right in front of our building that had it's lights on, and looked to be leaving. I did the whole steak-out thing (AKA: putting on my blinker while parked a bit behind said vehicle, waiting patiently, daring anyone else to take this spot, laying my claim, etc.) But then it was one of those moments where you have got to wonder what the heck they're doing in that vehicle after several minutes have gone by with no movement whatsoever. I'm sorry, but gah. Are you in there clipping your fingernails? Having some sort of therapy session over the phone that simply can't continue as you drive away? Eating a roast beef sandwich? WHAT? TELL ME, BECAUSE YOU MAKE ME PHYSICALLY ANGRY.

I finally got tired of waiting and continued driving.

Of course, I saw that the Prius finally decided to leave once I drove away. What a conspiracy. Still, I was thankful to have the spot, and with nobody else in sight to take it, I whipped my car around and went to pull in.

But right as I was turning around, some stupid girl drove right into the spot. Without any cares in the world. Her and her friend, paying no attention to me, who'd been waiting for that spot for the last five minutes of my life. I drove by really slowly, giving her my best stink-eye through the window, but she wasn't paying attention to me because she couldn't parallel park worth beans. And it was a huge spot, too. As I drove around through the gate, I could see her going forwards and backwards, trying her best to get into the massively huge spot.

me: Gah. I judge you. But only because I'm mad.

Once I was done pulling into the garage, getting all my stuff situated in my arms, closing the garage and walking around to the front of the building, the girl and her friend were finally walking through the gate to the apartment. I continued the stink-eye, until I noticed the girl who had been driving was wearing a bright yellow trendy/tacky sweat suit with words written across the bum. With Uggs. It made me laugh, and I didn't feel so bad after all.

I was walking up the steps when she arrived at what I can only assume was her friend's apartment. When he opened the door, I heard him say,

"You look...like a banana."

How do you like that, parking-spot-stealer? You've just been owned.


  1. What the hell?? Sometimes I want to move into your apartment complex because you always have the BEST stories!

  2. i cannot parallel park to save my life. they didn't teach me in driver's ed. :)

  3. Andrea: Oh, no you don't want to move into this complex. I think that I make everything more exciting in my head to make myself feel better about it. Mua-ha.

    ks: I didn't actually learn to parallel park until I moved here a couple years ago. So, I don't judge you. I can only do it now because I was pretty much forced to perfect it. :) Before that, there wasn't anywhere I would have had to do it, and I think that I actually failed that part of drivers ed. Oh, if they could see me now!

  4. oh schadenfreude how we love thee! I love your blog, it is so fresh and funny. Congrats on the new apartment!

  5. instand karma is great. especially when its not by you. :)

  6. Ha, that's fantabulous! I only wish I could be around to watch karma kick ignorant drivers in the ass.

  7. I would be sooo pissed. But man. At least she looked like a banana, that's a plus, haha.

  8. Haha! She looked like a banana! Is that what it had written on it?


Thoughts? Questions? General musings? Do share!

If you are asking a question, I will respond here within the comments—so, be sure to click that handy little "notify me" box below to know when I've replied!