November 17, 2007

on my anxiety and my love...

Today, as I was driving home from work, there was an accident up ahead and the entire street was blocked off. "It's okay," I thought, "I'll just veer off to the right and then wind back around and hit the street again once I've past the accident."

Not so much.

Should it take nineteen minutes of winding back and forth through some random neighborhood to find a street name that I actually recognize? I think I suffered a minor stroke. I have serious anxiety when I don't know where I am. When I'm driving, at least. (Those of you who know me well, know this is true. Annie.) It's just one of those things that scare me - I don't know why I can't just get it together, but I can't. Even though it was mid-day and it's not like I was driving through Watts or anything, but still. I chewed two fingernails clean off. I kid you not.

me: (furiously chews battered fingernails.) "Wait, what? When the frick did I get into La Palma? Am I going North or South? Did that man just flash a gang sign at me? I'm going to die."

When I finally found the street I was originally on, I wanted to kiss the ground. Until I realized that I was a block away from (and heading towards) the accident that I originally had to avoid in the first place. Nice. Keep in mind that I'd been up since 4:30 in the morning and all a girl wanted to do was go home, let her hair down, make a quesadilla and watch her recent Netflix. Is that too much to ask? (Yes, I'm aware that I'm a complete jerk-face for not focusing on the fact that at least I wasn't in some car accident myself. I become slightly narcissistic when I'm sleep deprived.)

I did end up getting home, but I've decided that it would be in my best interest to figure out a few alternative routes to get there. Seriously.

I was looking forward to dinner with the husband tonight, but he was to work late. You know what I was realizing today? I do love him more and more each day. The love changes, in a way. As we learn new things about each other and experience new things together, it truly does bring us closer and closer. I think about all the little things he does that I can't imagine living without.

I told him yesterday that he has to live to be at least 93. He told me he'd try his best. Which is good enough for me.

On a side note: M and I met a guy yesterday who straight up looked like Scott Peterson. Creepy, right? It took me a couple Long Island Iced Tea's to get me to tell his friend what I thought, and when I did, he busted up laughing and told me that he's been telling his friend the same thing for the longest time. Seriously, though, the resemblance was uncanny. Afterwards, M and I were all, "Dude. What if this guy was Scott Peterson? Huh." But I think he was too nice to be an evil wife murderer, and seemed shorter, anyway.

1 comment :

  1. Oh man. I'm the same way when I don't know where I am going. Seriously.


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