September 12, 2007

on a few things...

1. I am not a fan of Southern California. Anymore. When I had to leave Washington and head back here after visiting my family, I was genuinely bitter. There wasn't anything appealing about the heat and the smog and the traffic and the language barrier and the cost of living (note how they call it Cost of Living and not Cost of Housing, which is what it really is...) and the unfriendliness of it all. Boooo. I'm done. I know that moving out here a few years ago is one of the best things I've ever done for myself (and most spontaneous, which was quite unlike me at the time) and I have no regrets about that. But, really? I'm over it. I'm not Californian, no matter how long I've lived here or how much I shop at Hollister (which isn't even that often, come to think of it).

I'm a Northwest girl at heart. And will always be. I crave pine trees, people. Pine trees. And a breath of genuinely fresh air. It's quite unfair that my family lives in a completely Utopian harbor town, and every time I go there I have to fight the urge to buy a home and send for the husband. (He probably wouldn't appreciate that, though.)

I'm here for a while, though, considering my better half has one year left of college. And also considering his profession (film), we may be here for the rest of our young lives. And old lives. We've both agreed that since both our families are in Washington, that we do want to end up there someday. I'm glad for that, because if it was only me that wanted to go, it probably wouldn't happen. (I'm the one who wants to stay at home and raise my kiddies someday, so considering he's the one who's going to have the career...beggars can't be choosers, kapish?) I really want the nice house in a safe community where the children can play in the yard after dark and I don't have to worry about them being abducted or shanked. I really, really, really have issues with raising a family here. It's not my scene.

But that is going to be a few years from now, anyway.

Anyway. We'll see.

2. When will I learn to not make spontaneous decisions? I bought this dark red quilt and matching shams for our bedroom (because I'm having severe anxiety over the state of the room - it's so ugh, to be completely honest - nothing matches and it's such a huge room that everything is just wrong, for some reason, and I crave order and style, I'm sorry...) and I paid a bit too much for them. Well, I did have $40 in gift certificates, so I only spent about $40 of my own money, but to me that's the big bucks. I'm cheap. So, I get home and put it on the bed only to realize that it's a complete blood-red overload and makes me a bit naseous to look at. I had to re-fold up all the shams and the quilt and put it back into the original packaging (which is not unlike refolding a map of the United States) and now I have to saunter back to Target and return it. Gaaaaaaaa.

And while I was deciding on whether or not I wanted a bedroom that screamed "RED!" I turned around only to see Nuni. Inside the giant Target bag. I swear, this cat is a conspiracy. Whenever we open a trash bag or rustle a grocery bag this cat throws a fit and runs under the bed, like he has some sort of post traumatic stress disorder. So, why was he sitting in the bag like it was his idea of heaven? I will never understand him. (At look at that photo. Does he have an evil glint in his eye or what?)

3. Shameless plug: I am a mark cosmetics representative. (Love the stuff. Great prices, adorable packaging - we all know how much packaging matter, right? - and great products. Figured it would be a good idea, considering I can make some extra cash and also get fab discounts on all their goodies.) If you're interested, take a look at my website. It's not a scam, they have awesome products. So, moving on...

4. I think I may be going through a mid-life crisis. In the last few weeks, I've been at a loss. I want to quit my job and do something exciting. There is so much I want to do, and so much I'm capable of, and I feel like I'm wasting it right now. I'm not DOING anything with my life. I hate that feeling, and I don't know where to start to make things right...


  1. I'm sorry about Socal. I was born and raised there but I'm still not sure I want to keep living there. Something about the north really makes me happy.

    Help me with mark. Pleasee.:) I need something.. i don't know what.

    But I do know it doesn't involve anymore vegetable breakfast smoothies.

  2. Everyone has that "lost" feeling - I've had it for the past 2 yrs. I think its just part of becoming an "adult." (which I'm fighting tooth-and-nail).

  3. There are times I sit here in the middle of the mountainous desert and wonder, "how in the hell anyone could fall in love with this place." I could have regrets, but I don't. Don't forget that you are old enough to realize how young you are! Play at life, take those risks now to find fulfillment and do what you love! You have a love partner which is more than most, now find out what moves you! Do what you love! Oh wait, I think I said that already.


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