August 13, 2007

on what I miss...

The house I "grew up" in. The eight acres of property we had to roam around in - trails and tree forts (which weren't really forts, as much as trees that were either leaning all awkwardly or had huge branches that we could hide under) and a huge yard that my dad kept looking like a park. We had two driveways, one of which was almost a quarter of a mile long, and couldn't be used in the winter because it would have taken my dad half a day to plow it after each snowfall. I remember sitting in the back yard in the summer, and realizing how many hundreds of birds I could hear all around me, and thinking, "How lucky am I, to live somewhere like this?"

When I was fourteen, and my only real worry was whether or not I was going to be cast in the lastest theatre production. I didn't have to worry about a full-time job, bills, any real responsibility.

My mom reading to my sisters and I at night. I don't think we missed one night when I was young. (And we wonder why I'm such a bookworm now.) I still have faint memories of stories that were read to me when I was really young - and I can remember just the way my mom would read them.

Playing make-believe. I know we didn't grow up decades ago, but regardless, when we were young we didn't pass the time by watching TV, playing video games or getting online. It was all about playing "teenagers" (yes, we actually played "teenagers" because to us, it sounded like the most exciting thing in the world to be a teenager), or pretending we were some sort of animal, or librarians, or astronauts, or indians foraging for food (we could get intense, I tell you). I miss that feeling of being so completely wrapped up in my own world, and turning everything more exciting through my imagination. I don't think I've completely forgotten how to do that, but it's not like I can sit at work and pretend that I'm Harriet the Spy. (That's not to say that I haven't totally wanted to.)

Running through sprinklers. I still want to do that, but never get the chance. The closest I get to that now, is walking to my apartment late at night when they have the sprinklers going, but it's not as fun when your work shoes get soaked and your feet sink into muddy puddles.

Sitting around at night watching TV with my family. We would watch TGIF every Friday (tell me you didn't love TGIF - um, Boy Meets World, anyone? Family Matters?). Other nights we'd watch something like Trauma: Life in the ER, or The Crocodile Hunter. We'd sit there with bowls of ice cream and my dad would usually fall asleep in his chair at one point or another.

Going to elementary school. I loved it. Crafts and recess. Best friends and boys who we'd chase. I was always the quiet, shy, tiny one who would constantly smile. I remember when I was in either preschool or kindergarten, we had some crazy leprechaun guy come into the school to talk to us on St. Patricks Day, and I remember him picking me up and saying something like, "Hey, there! Look at that smile! I'm just going to take you with me!" And then during Christmas, when Santa Claus came into the classroom, he said the exact same thing to me. I remember thinking, "Now, why would a smile make someone want to take you away?"

Summer vacations with my family. We'd go to the Oregon coast one year (the same hotel every time) and Disneyland the next year (that could be why I'm still such a Disneyland fanatic, even though I now live in CA). Sometimes in the hotels at night, my dad and us girls would get in laughing fits and my mom would seem mad, but you know she really wasn't. My parents must have spent so much on those vacations, but you never heard them complain about anything.

Having someone to sit around with you all day long when you're sick, putting a cold washcloth on your forehead and waking you up at night when you're coughing to give you cough syrup.

When calories and carbs meant nothing to me. Working out? Psh. Never even crossed my mind.

Winter in the Northwest. There would always be snow. One year it was so bad we had nearly three feet of it (we still had little patches melting away in our yard in March and April!) and when we'd walk down our driveway, there would be these little walls of snow alongside you. I loved waking up in the morning, the first time it snowed. You wouldn't even have to look out your window; you just knew that the world had been covered in a fresh blanket of snow based on the bright glow outside your window. Even when I was older, sometimes all I wanted to do was run out there and make snow angels in my pajamas. And sometimes when it would snow, the flakes would be so big that it looked like big pieces of cotton falling from the sky. Christmas isn't the same in sunny, Southern California, this I tell you.

My youngest sisters. Sometimes I feel terrible that I don't get to be with them now, seeing them "grow up". I hate to think that I'm just their "sister in California". I know they don't think of me that way, but I still feel guilty being so far away. I was always the one who loved to dance around with them and be goofy. I feel like I'm missing out on so much lately.

When I used to dream up what I'd be like and what I'd look like at the age I am now. I don't think I'd disappoint nine-year-old me, but there is still so much I think I could do...


  1. I miss being so young and carefree. It was the best. I think we need to go to Disneyland. We are around the time we need our Disney fix.

    God I loved TGIF.. Sabrina and Boy Meets World... and do you remember that one show with the genie? That one was the coolest ever!! He lived in a rug!!!

    And I am offended at your indian game, being part native american myself. I hope in your game you at least shot at some fake pioneers.

    I'm kidding, of course.

    But yes, Disney all the way. I say we bust out the camera and make a day of it. All day Disney!! Woo Woo!

  2. You read my mind. I actually whipped out some CYT videos the other day, and laughed so hard I cried. There was you, Becki, Marci and I...all in line, all dressed up in our pineapple outfits for the Calypso number...we had so much energy, so much light in our eyes then. That's the only way I can think to describe it. Not that it's gone out, but I think the light when I was 15 is different from the light I have now.

    We had so much fun. All we ever did was go to rehearsals. We lived for that. Remember?

    I had to clean out some stuff from my parents' house, and found all kinds of scrapbooks and pictures. Brought me way back.

    I could write ten blog entries about those days. I'll scan some pix and post them soon...they're too good not to share. We were such high-spirited teenagers, talented and goofy but still very weird. =)


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