August 20, 2007

on my civil duties...

(Insert Chandler-esque laughter at the fact I just said "doodies"...)

Tomorrow, I shall embark on a true adventure.

Jury duty.

Ewwww, I know. But, to be honest - and to add to my weirdness - I'm a little bit excited. Part of me has always been hoping for a jury summons to come in the mail. (I'm probably the only American who punched her fist into the air with pure, unadulterated joy and yelled out, "Heck, yeah!" upon receiving a jury summons in the mail.) Although it's never something I'd want to pursue career-wise, I've always been fascinated by the judicial system. Or whatever you want to call it. And, dude. I get a day off of work - AND get paid for it. That could be the main reason for my excitement, come to think of it.

This could be interesting. I like new experiences. I've been thinking all day about the things I could say to make sure they don't choose me to be on the jury. (Because, although I'm slightly pumped about getting the inital summons, there's no way I'm dragging my butt to court at 8:ooAM for more than one day. Seriously.) So, yeah. I figure that I could play up and/or invent several character traits to make myself more likely to not be on their "good list".

  1. I hear they usually don't let you be on a jury if you are immediately related to someone in law enforcement. Which I am. I could make sure and infuse this fact into every statement. (i.e. "My political opinions are based mostly on what my dad, the cop, taught me." "I grew up in Washington, where my dad was in the Washington State Patrol." "Hobbies? I enjoy alot of TV; my dad gave me a great love of shows like COPS, since he, himself, has a long career in law enforcement." "Coppy cop cop coooooop. La la la. Oh, sorry, I was just singing my dad's theme song.")
  2. I could pretend to be racist.
  3. I could pretend to be bipolar and/or schizophrenic.
  4. I could scratch myself alot.
  5. Perhaps yelling out "guilty!" at awkward moments would make them question my ability to make any rational decisions at all.

I don't know. We'll see what I have to report tomorrow. I'm ready with a good book, bag full of snacks and mapquest directions to the court. What am I going to wear? I haven't even thought of that yet. Maybe I should dress in business attire and bring a briefcase and wear my snazzy glasses. Brush up on my Law & Order lingo.

Just for kicks.

5 comments :

  1. I hope you have fun! And that you don't actually have to do it. I've always wanted to get called to jury duty. My mom is a lawyer and when I was young I used to go to work with her and I'd pretend I was on the jury. I can't believe I just admitted how lame I was in your comments.

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  2. Oh my gosh, you're hilarious! I think I'm gonna have to add you to my blog roll. You're a can't miss. :oP
    I'm so jealous that you went to Vegas. Arrgggh, I LOVE Vegas!

    So I can't wait to see how your day went. Seriously, jury duty is NOT that fun. Good thing you were prepared. My stepfather's a lawyer so yah he too let me know all the things I needed to say to get me out of any further "doodie". Not needed though, even after the 7 hours spent sitting on my butt! :oP Would have been so much more fun to say something completely rediculous and then see everyone's faces. *evil grin*
    ~swap-bot blog buddy~

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  3. Oh my gosh! I got a jury summons a few months ago and I was SO excited. But I wasn't even called in to a courtroom. Bummed. I did get to read all day, though. That part was great. :)

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  4. how funny...I actually tried to get out of jury duty once...I failed...but I did have a great time...I'm glad I did it, now I have good stories to tell:o)
    ~simply stork~

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  5. That was awesome - thank you so much - I now have your dad's "theme song" stuck in my head!!

    Let us know how it went!!

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