May 7, 2006

on CRAP...

I'm feeling completely crap right now.

(And oh my lord it doesn't help that some huge group of people rented out the community center in our apartment complex and felt the urge to hire a mediocre latin man to sing karaoke for everyone. Myself included. A Mexican Fiesta Night is one thing - see prior entry for that yummy goodness - but THIS? This crosses every line that was ever drawn. Someone save me.)

Anyway. To wallow even lower into my self pity party that I've been throwing the last week or so (join me.) I have come to the conclusion that I don't like anybody right now. I'm just all angry and frustrated with everyone these days. I really am not fond of myself, as a result. It's weird, though, because I can't help it - I just am so irritated at how people act and what they do. I'm also feeling completely invisible to everyone around me, so that could add to the issue. Jay is the only one who seems to care about me. And as for work? I swear, I've had it with the gossip and rumors and the personal attacks on how someone else does their job or lives their life. Not to say that I wasn't knee deep in all that madness even yesterday, but it's making me sick now. I need to stop, and I've known all along how vicious all of us sound when we talk like that - and I need to check myself more often. I really do.

WHO CARES if someone if someone added the paperwork up wrong? Or didn't make sure the place was spotless? It goes both ways. Every single person I work with has done some stupid mistake - me more than anyone, I'm sure. Every single person has sat there doing homework or talking on the phone when they could have been doing, well, work. I hate how the same person who's complaining about someone else not washing something properly, is the same person who left a huge mess of popcorn bits all over the floor the night before and neglected to clean it up. I complain about things that other people do wrong, and I think about it again and realize that I've done the same thing before. It's awful. We all just need to calm down and just DO OUR JOBS. None of us are the Jesus of customer service, so maybe we can begin to give everyone a bit more credit. So, anyway, I left work today so aggravated and pissed off at everyone. Wonder if anyone noticed. Probably not.

(Shouldn't they have a noise restriction on these parties? Didn't quite hit that last note there, did you? Sir, don't quit your day job. These people should not tip you. Okay, sorry, back to my original point.)

I just...I don't know. There are probably alot of factors that are creating this terrible mood I'm stuck in. I don't know how to fix it, though. And I still hate the feeling of being overlooked and unimportant. Boooooo.

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