on who I am (at the moment)...

I am...

...feeling ridiculously full of Christmas spirit this year - which is a nice change, because the last couple years I was borderline Scrooge-ish throughout most of December. I'm not sure what the difference is now, but I'll definitely take it with a smile.

...done decorating and nearly done Christmas shopping. (Which may be a reason for feeling much less stressed this year!)

...still recovering from an incident involving an entire bowl of miso soup, poor motor skills and my lunch break at work. Yeah. It was pretty bad. (Thankfully a coworker had an extra uniform I could borrow, but really? Sometimes I question my ability to be an adult.)

...slightly giddy about my annual bonus from work. Trying to decide what to splurge on with it: this (CHARTREUSE!) mirror (and putting the rest in savings) or a new iPod (I have an ancient iPod mini that is dying a slow and painful death). Hmmm. Decisions, decisions.

...reeling from a margarita-fueled conversation with my husband in which we dished about doing all we can to live our dreams in the coming year. More than ever, we're both so ready to do what we want to do job-wise, and not what we feel we have to do. It's exciting to think of what the year ahead holds for us. I'm very optimistic, and it feels good to be setting some goals that will help us get to where we want to be. Mission one: save money like crazy. Which is totally possible. It's a good thing that - for the most part - we're both really good at saving money.

...ready for another vacation (already).

...already done watching every holiday-inspired movie I own (I don't own many, obviously).

...wondering at what point I will stop having a happy seizure whenever I see a preview for New Moon. I'm thinking I may need to go see it again. You know, just to get it out of my system. And to have another reason to wear my New Moon shirt in public. (See here for photographic evidence. You're welcome. Unless you're not a Twilight fan, in which case I'd like to ask you not to judge me.)

...missing my family a lot, but that's just the usual.

...realizing how much our little duplex is beginning to feel like home. I never felt this way about our apartment, and I'm thankful that I'm starting to feel at least a little bit attached to the place we're in now. I'm learning how important it is to do my very best to make myself feel happy and cozy where I live. It's the little things: curtains for the windows, a new pillow cover, changing the photos in the frames, lighting candles that fill the room with the scent of vanilla. All of these things make me happy and content with this place we call home.

...going to punch my husband in the mouth the next time he tells me about one of his friends who is pregnant. Just saying. (For the record, I'm kind of ridiculous because although my baby fever is raging, I'm happy with where my life is right now and am not ready for many aspects of motherhood. But, still. My husband never wants to talk about babies unless he's telling me about someone else being pregnant. I mean, throw me a freaking bone here.)

...in hibernation. Well, when it comes to going to the gym, anyway.

...really craving a grilled cheese sandwich. I really need one in my life right now. Let's make it happen.

on a day full of good things...

Ah, yes. Today was a good day.

To begin with, I didn't roll out of bed until after 10:30. Granted, I've recently become somewhat of a night owl, given my never ending crafting and my slight addiction to watching TV shows online into the wee hours of the morning. (I recommend risking nightmares by watching Law & Order: SVU. You may be pleasantly surprised by a dream involving Detective Stabler sitting next to you on the couch, giving you a completely platonic and quite pleasant back scratch.) In any case, sleeping in that late was completely delightful. Even though I was actually awake a bit earlier than that, I sunk down under the covers and pulled my hoodie up around my head just to enjoy that cozy feeling of being half awake, half asleep, having no reason to rush getting up.

Once I finally got out of bed, I was thrilled to discover that one of my leafy felt wallets was featured on the etsy front page - not once, but twice! How is that for some morning giddiness? Beginning my day with a little happy dance is always a good thing.

After I put myself together for the day, it was off to the post office to pick up my chartreuse vintage style tea table (that I previously raved about). I could hardly wipe the smile off my face when I went to pick it up. I'm sure the lady at the post office was all, "What, are you here to pick up your first born child or something? Calm down." But she couldn't keep me down. I WAS SOARING ON A CHARTREUSE-COLORED CLOUD OF BLISS. (Contrary to popular belief, there actually is such a thing.)

I tore open the box when I got home and immediately busted out my second happy dance of the day. It is perfect! I adore it! Here it is, in all its glory:

Seriously, guys. I'm in love. I think it adds just the right amount of color to the room! And it's a perfect contrast to my teal shelf. Now I just have to decide what to put on the table, because I'm realizing that a bowl full of fake mini-pumpkins may be a little out of season, now that it's December. Ah, well. I'll come up with something, I suppose.

I do want to say that the shop I purchased this table from, Uncommon, is ridiculously adorable. Everything is created by a husband and wife team who are all creative and in love and I pretty much want everything from their shop! According to their shop profile: "Ours is a marriage of love and, also, of love of good design..." Um, adorable much lately? I'm presently saving up for one of their mirrors. In chartreuse, obviously. Because its my new favorite everything. Amen.

As for a bit of a crafty update, here are some new items that I created pretty much in the middle of the night (why my creative juices feel the need to flow at 1AM is beyond me):

Hope everyone else's day was filled with many good things, as well!

on time management and other grown-up things...

Lately, I've been busy. I've been filling up nearly every moment of my day with something productive. It's given me a great sense of accomplishment, as well as a sense of purpose, I suppose. Being a girl who is generally overwhelmed when there isn't plenty of time to relax and be lazy, it's been an interesting step out of my comfort zone.

And although I'm making time for happy hours and movie nights with my husband, holiday get-togethers with friends and family, consuming only popcorn/cake/a bottle of wine for dinner (and other general shenanigans), I feel a bit like I don't have much time to breathe.

I've been working feverishly to keep my etsy shop stocked for the holidays, and have had many custom orders to fulfill. I'm busy stitching and snipping and stamping and shipping. Buying supplies, fulfilling orders, making sure my head doesn't explode as I attempt to find a way to stay organized as business picks up, taking time to slow down and enjoy the creative process as much as possible. I'm working hard to find the balance between the business side of things and the happiness side of things. It's been overwhelming and exciting, and really? I love it. I only feel more motivated and I feel like dancing around on my tip-toes when I think ahead to what the next year will hopefully bring.

However, my issue of the moment is the fact that not only do I have what feels like a full-time creative job, I also have an actual full-time "real" job. I don't talk about my "real" job often because, quite frankly, I would like to keep it. I'm not a fan of getting fired over a blog. So, to give you an idea in broad, general terms: I may or may not work in customer service, and it may or may not be at some sort of an airport. Okay, there. (If I get fired over that, then my brain will implode, so help me God.)

I've been working there for nearly five years, and to be completely honest, I find myself becoming more and more withdrawn from it. First of all, it is not my passion. It isn't in a field that I ever saw myself working, and although there are coworkers and customers that I love to bits and pieces, it's definitely not a place in which I thrive. There is little to no opportunity to move up within the company and it's a decidedly uncreative business. In short, it is a job that I'm very thankful to have, something that I'm quite good at, but I'm not very invested in it...if that makes any sense.

More and more I look forward to the time in my life where I can break free from the 40 hour work week, time cards, a corporate environment and, above all, nylons. (Nylons are a large part of my own, personal hell.)

In the last few months, I've really begun to feel the strain of balancing two very important things. And I definitely feel like one of them is holding me back from truly excelling in the other.

I've had to juggle so much of my time and energy between what I love doing and what I have to do to pay the bills. I spend all morning crafting and then quickly throw on my uniform before realizing I only have only five extra minutes to spend shipping things at the post office. Then I realize there are three phone calls I haven't yet returned, I didn't have time to pack my lunch and there are three half-read books and one neglected Real Simple magazine on the coffee table, staring up at me like I'm a freak of nature. I run out the door, make sure I have my skirt zipped up, have just enough time to ship a few packages and then it's off to begin my "real" workday. After 8.5 hours I rush home and snuggle with my husband (read: try to lay on the couch with him before he gets irritated by my squishing him) only to continue making a list in my head of things I need to get done.

I need to make three new wallets, finish up the custom notecard order, place an order for felt, organize my crafting nook, ship two packages.

I need to figure out who I still need Christmas gifts for, decorate the house, try to find time to take a decent photo of Jay and I to send out with Christmas cards, actually buy Christmas cards, or New Years cards, or any cards at all.

I need to get back to the gym, stop eating so much crap, buy more vegetables, actually start making some recipes I've been meaning to try for the last year, clean out the fridge, hang shelves in the kitchen to display my adorable new lotus bowls, stop being so hard on my body, work harder on loving exactly what I am.

I need to call my family more, edit the rest of the photos and video from my vacation, answer the emails piling up in both my email accounts, respond to blog comments, actually post in my blog, catch up on everyone else's blogs.

And so on and so forth. Such are the thoughts swirling around in this head of mine.

The thing is, I'm okay. I'm enjoying my life and all the brilliant things it is filled with at the given time. I guess that what it comes down to is this desire I have to work towards my creative goals...full time. It's not even scary to me anymore, thinking of moving away from my "real" job and full-speed towards crafting/writing/photography. More and more I feel like it's less of a daydream and more a matter of when it is going to actually happen.

That's exciting, kind of.

Mostly because it lessens the feelings of the twenty-something angst I know all too well. The ones that make me wonder what it is I'm meant to do, what I should be doing, what choices I should make. When I think of doing things on my own terms and having my own business, I can't help but feel like I've finally found the answer to all those questions. (Well, some of them, at least.)

Makes me feel all grown up. Which is certainly a welcome change.

on the great return (oh, hello, baby fever!)...

So, my vacation can pretty much be summed up with the following words: adorable nephew, too much food, too much wine, many photos, giggles with my sisters, one turkey dinner, being "home", a morning full of snow, one evening of sushi, seven days of serious baby fever, a bit of drama, a bit of making up, falling in love with a werewolf named Jacob, finding the perfect red knit hat I've been searching for all my life, remembering why I love my family so ridiculously much, lessons learned about myself, and one seriously hilarious movie montage involving almost all of my family members.

Oh, yes. And one more thing. This little peanut managed to perfect his walking skills during the week I was visiting:

I know. My ovaries are throwing a tantrum, too. Did I mention I want a child, like, tomorrow? Lord have mercy.

In any case, after an entire week away, it's lovely to be home! It's time to go back to the real world - well, my real world. But I guess that's okay. This vacation is exactly what I needed at exactly the time I needed it. I feel so full of energy and happiness, and although I miss my family like crazy (already) I'm thrilled to walk away with so many new memories and wonderful moments all tucked away into my heart.